more than i can say, actually.

Lost & Love

2008-09-15T21:49:00.009+08:00

"If you really love someone deeply, you'll search for her everwhere and anywhere all day and night long even if it takes 100 years. You won't know what being tired is because your aim and goal, that is to search for her up and low till you've found her 'coz you love her. You won't gonna give up easily after the second round. That tells me sooo much about you, my dear."

My Monday Blues is slightly different today. Actually I'm not having one but I thought I had.

Today marks the fifth day I've not seen Spiderman and we had a little dispute last Friday (so much for my salted-tongue). Most of the time he'd be the one who's always very eager to meet me. Somehow he's not for the past few days and I think would also be for the next few days or weeks or prolly, months. A simple reason as it is;- He's ashamed of himself.

Right. Just how much an egoism can take you?

Back on track, I was waiting for the bus in the morning as usual when he drove past me. Rooted to the ground and right at that point, I was overwhelmed with fear and anxiety and love and missing-ness. That was when I came to realise that I'd actually love him so much that words are beyond my say.

It was fortunate there wasn't Chemistry class in the afternoon so I spent the whole afternoon with him, strolling at Jurong Point. We didn't talk much. There was so much to say yet no words were spoken. It was solemn yet serene. Feeling of love vibrated through my skin and I jolt the moment we held hands. It was different somehow.

However, there was something that sparked our afternoon. It was when we spotted a helpless Spiderman in a pram at ToyRus. That is just soooo hilarious but I don't think my stomach can burst. Okay, it's an inside joke. Hurhur.

And my afternoon spent with him ended with tears streaming down my cheeks, because I don't think I'll be able to see him anytime soon in the near future. ):

Sinned & Failed

2008-09-14T11:37:00.006+08:00

I've failed and I've sinned. I've done this again. Will God ever going to forgive me? I've promised myself over and over again but it kept happening. I don't have the power to push it down. I cried the first time round. I feel guilty yet I wanted to do it again. How tempting. It was a mixed feeling of exhilaration, anxiety, love and remorsefulness.

That's one. And the other half, I've made him feel ashamed of himself. What about me? Do I feel ashamed of myself, too? Honestly, I was ecstatic that I managed to pull him down to the bottom yard but thinking back, it's about me and my life. How could I have done it? I've ruined it. I'm ruined.

You'll never fathom. Let this be a secret between us, baby. Hushhhhh.

2008-08-11T13:27:00.002+08:00

"Shut Up & Drive"

I felt suffocated all this while but alhamdulilah, I feel better now with lovely people like Syam and my super girlfriends namely Iyrah, Nissya and Sharizan. I couldn't ask for more and my life couldn't have been better. I won't interfere, I won't say. I'd just allow you to say whatever you wish and the decisions are in your hands; either you believe or you don't because all these made-up stories are simply lies just so that they feel ecstatic having being capable to bring us down to corrupt our reputation and blackmail us. So what? I believe in Allah and I believe everyone deserves what they deserve.

And now, I see light in my straight path. (:

yours truly,
hanisyra.

2008-07-26T11:30:00.002+08:00

Let's talk about my Saturday.

I gave a miss for Saturday class. I was exhausted from last night's wedding reception at the Singapore Khalsa Association. What's with the loud music and dancing and stuff. Ok fine, I didn't dance actually. Woke up 10ish and watched the whole series of Incredible Tales Season 1 Syam had lent me. By 4pm, met Syam at the usual carpark and had a late lunch at Sembawang where I met a group of my ex-seniors. Then went over to his apartment. Next, we chilled at this particular area in Sembawang for a few minutes when Azyan called, saying she has reached Woodlands. Syam drove me to Woodlands MRT station to meet Azyan and I had to bid farewell to him. Aww. Walked around cwp for awhile and spotted the same group of the ex-seniors again. By 7pm, Azyan and me made our way to the Republic Cultural Centre for Pesta Peti Putih 2008. WHEEEE!

This is my first time watching PPP and I never knew PPP actually exists. Haha! I'm so naive lah. Spotted some metrosexual guys but this time I couldn't die for them. This evening were two plays put up by JJC and RP. I'd say RP was excellent but JJC was good too as this is their first time. So yup, bravo JJC! (okay kiter step mcm fhm) If I knew about PPP earlier, I'd have came down on Thursday as well coz DSL (Downstageleft) performed on that day. Menyesal... menyesal...

But anyways, Azyan and me came down to support Wani, who is the Director for JJC's play, who is also Azyan's sister. Hah! (:

The theatre finished 10ish pm and I'd prefer to walk home from RCC since I'm staying a few blocks away but I kinda scared and I don't think I'd want Syam to fetch me coz I don't want to trouble him. So ended up accompanying Azyan to the MRT station and boarded the feeder bus from there and reached home almost midnight. And oh, I caught another sight of the same group of ex-seniors again at the RCC. Like, wth? Tsk.

It's a hassle-passle Saturday, after all. (:

P.S. Thank you very much to Azyan for treating me to this theatre. I appreciate much much. I'm sorry too coz I was late to meet you. I shall make it up back to you. Next meet-up, my treat! =D

And oh by the way, next week will be my brother's turn performing at the Esplanade! (:

yours truly,

hanisyra.

2008-07-24T12:41:00.000+08:00

"Racial Harmony, hoy!"

Let's have the photos do the talkings! (:

Polaroid.

Hot hunks (mcm fhm!)

With Mdm Mus.

Kengkawans.

Lagi.

Chemistry class.

Accounts class.

yours truly,
hanisyra.

2008-07-22T12:13:00.003+08:00

"Actions Speak Louder Than Words"

I've said this many times that I won't be meeting him due to our own commitments but well, I've been seeing him every day. I'd feel so gelisah kalau sehari tak ketemu. Inilah dikatakan 'tika seseorang dilamun cinta. (ok mcm fhm!)

So yep, Syam seems like my driver who sends and fetches me to and from school. It's quite weird and uncomfortable especially having the schoolmates' eyes on us and the next few days they'd come out to me and ask who's that guy and that kinda stuff. It's like yknow, I know who I am, still a secondary school kid and I shall behave like one but no it doesn't seem like that. I feel like I'm having a sugardaddy. However, I just love spending time with Syam and neglecting my studies. My friends got affected as well and I feel real bad. Nowadays, I don't feel like me. I feel I've changed. I miss me. I was reminiscing the past and reading some old text messages from Syam this morning that I realised I've changed overnight. Idk know if this is an act of rebellious after knowing the truth and seeing the true colours. Whatever it is, I'm in a dilemma now.

Sometimes we didn't expect such things to occur. We didn't ask for it, did we? Shit happens, yknow. It's best if we just keep quiet and be humble. For now, we've made it to be angry and it feels challenged that it starts to take control over us. We shall seek forgiveness from Allah. We've made a big sin, involving in this kuda kepang thing. Kuda kepang is a lovely performing art but it has gone beyond the line and we've crossed the line as well. We have to pay the price. Everything has its own consequences. But alhamdulilah, we're getting rid of it and he has threw it away though the dewa is still lingering around its owner for it loves him.

I shall not say more. Period.

yours truly,
hanisyra.

2008-07-12T23:21:00.002+08:00

"Sesuatu Yang Berbeda"

I've been spending time with Syam more than I should be on my Prelims. Thank God, Prelims are finally over now. I've been pretty busy lately; busy dating katakan. Too many things happened yet I'm still clueless.

Let's start with Friday 4th. It was the sixth date with Syam and we went all the way to Pasir Ris Park just for a short date. Had dinner at AMK Banquet. Everytime I think of AMK, I'd laugh like crazy, remembering the bapok's phone call. I know you know. *winks*

Saturday; had tuition in the morning and wasn't planning to meet Syam but in the end, met him after tuition just to accompany him to the bike shop at Queensway (quite stupid somehow) and had an afternoon dessert at Vista Point. Damn, I love the afternoon spent with him.

Monday was a holiday and had a date with Syam again. The whole day was spent with him starting with breakfast at BPP's Mcd then we headed down to Changi for no particular reason and tujuan. Singgah OCH for awhile and both of us saw something flickered. Shall not say more. Then to the Changi Beach and enjoying the whole afternoon watching aeroplanes flying above our head and cargo ships crossing the sea. &Oh, I spot a Red Cross ship! Jangan-jangan hantar supply untuk Taufan Nargis kape. hahaha!

The whole moment spent there was really lovely. What's with the confessions, truths, lies and cries. Around 4ish we left Changi for AMK driving school coz he had to take his FTT. Jyeah, he's taking Class 3 and I'm sooooo supportive of that okay! It was 9ish in the evening when I received a phone call from Syam and he said, "Hey, open your door. I'm right in front of your house." Dammit, he was there and I was freaking shocked la okay! FYI, he only knows which apartment I'm staying but he doesn't know what level and what's my unit coz I never wanted him to know where I live. Inilah yang terjadi... It was a real shock okay!

Then he went to the carpark and searched for my parents' vehicles (macam takde kerja gitu) and dammit, he found the correct ones.Dia sungguh licik dan cerdik ok, tu pasal saya sayang dia! Tau tau je he was right in front of my bedroom (ok fine downstairs) and we were on the phone for 2 hours. It's so stupid la, I was at the bedroom's windows and he was downstairs sitting on his bike macam tak bersalah gitu. Anyway that phone call was rusty. I asked questions I shouldn't have asked (ok I NEED to know actually) and things got awkward and he was frustrated. That was when I told myself I don't think I can accept everything.

Tuesday; parents had outstation and I was bored at home. After fnn paper, went home straight, had a short afternoon nap and out to meet Syam again at the beach. I'd say, this was when everything begins to change. I know you know.

Gave a miss for Prelims science practical on Wednesday. I shall not say more.

Thursday; school was back to normal lesson and had fnn Part B planning exam. It was a bore and I was texting Syam throughout the exam. Was planning to go home straight after school coz I was super sleepy but ended up accompanying Syam to weld gamelan stuff and had dinner at Sunplaza's McD.

Yesterday was Cross Country. I wasn't looking forward to it at first but in the end I love it coz I love the place and the fact that I ran together with my best two sleepyheads.

After Cross Country, lepak around with Fadaa to kill time coz I'd be meeting Syam (again!) at Sembawang 2pm. Met him 2ish. He drove us to Lower Seletar Reservoir. It was scorching hot there so we drove back to our oh-so-favourite spot at the beach. Time spent with him yesterday was short and I won't be seeing him for a few weeks. Let's see how terrible this can be. Hmmm...

My Saturday's spent so randomly. Had a random class in the morning. Accompanied Dayah to meet his guy after class. I was at the void deck of my block when I saw SYAMMMMM! He was driving so I called out his name and he stopped by for awhile. Damn, I miss him ok! He's having a kuda kepang performance in Sengkang today but I'm unable to turun and support him. What a waste! Anyway, he plays kuda kepang sooo good (bole kasi aku cair oiii!). I just applied the DPA and I hope I can get the first choice. So yeah, to wrap up about my Saturday, I'm missing Syam and I just ended a phone call with an old TTM.

I feel like meeting Syam now.
&Oh my, what a random entry I have here!

yours truly,
hanisyra.

2008-07-01T10:03:00.003+08:00

Aku Masih Di Sini

Yesterday was complicated yet embarrassing. Nevertheless things got even better between Shasha and me, and I'm loving it. However, idk where it's going, what's going to happen because I'm still afraid to express what's mine. I know it's going to be something disappointing, something hurtful but I hope all those tears would somehow explain my feelings. I don't quite like to express, you'll have to judge. I promise, it won't gonna come out from my mouth.

I know you wanted to know the truth but you don't have to toy around like this. Tears wasted, tsk. I hope you'll keep to your promises but one thing for sure, I don't trust guys. Yesterday shall mark the last day we're seeing each other. I'm thinking of calling off this Friday's date but well, we'll see.

I'm lost for words.

yours truly,
hanisyra.

2008-06-29T20:59:00.006+08:00

Antara Cinta dan Perasaan

I'm sorry if I've been MIA-ing for some time. If you don't know this, then you shall know it now; My PRELIMS have started since last Tuesday! Fast? Yesh, what to do, the school's very kiasu & kanchong. Okay, whatever.

Let's put Prelims aside because I can't really be bothered about it. I don't have time to study and pick up those piles of notes. Datings, socialising, texting and late-night phone calls are MUCH MORE IMPORTANT. heh heh.

Speaking of datings, I'm dating Shasha now. I'd say, he's really a good gentleman pious guy and I enjoy spending time with him especially in the late afternoons, riding on his RXZ baby. Like last Friday. Had my O Levels MT Oral (and it's super pathetic ok!) and rushed out of the school, met him at Shell and off we went to the cemetery and a place in Jurong for dinner. It's a lovely afternoon though time spent with him was little. Nevertheless I had a wonderful time. (: Apart from that, last two Saturday went to watch a kuda kepang performance with him and I shall say, it's awesome. ((:
(Note to Fada: Takmo jealous okay! Kau nye turn coming up soon, with VESPA! hahahaha!)

Saturday class was superb. I love my girlfriends. We come from different schools but we share the same thoughts and feelings. It couldn't be any better than watching porns, listening to prank calls, gossiping, laughing, camwhoring and harrassing some hot soccer boys during lessons.

Sunday's maddy would always fill with laughter and I love them much. Except, well yeah, no more eye-candies. Hurhur. (I'd dumped him. Shrugs.)

Right now I need a hair S.O.S. badly. Right, I had a haircut last Saturday and I'm not contented with the hairstyle coz it looks like some shiitake to me. Yeah yeah, laugh at me for all you want. I'll have to wake up extra early tomorrow to iron straight my hair (something I rarely do) and meet Fada before subuh comes so that she can do something about it. I'm thinking of rebonding but I don't think it's the best S.O.S. Damn, I think I'll need hair extension but ohwells I hate extensions okay!

&Oh, something just rang in my head. Math Paper 2 tomorrow! Should I or shouldn't I?
Well, for once, I think the teevee's more important. Utt is calling me now (ehem! Incredible Tales!) ((:

Oh, what a random entry! Goodnight morons!

yours truly,
hanisyra.

2008-06-15T23:05:00.007+08:00

The migraine's bugging me. Hurgh. Just because I've been on the computer eversince I reached home from the surprise birthday party we specially threw for Mrs Hayashi. I'll just allow the photos to spin the yarn. Too much fun to express. (:

A birthday party would never be complete without a birthday cake.

And the birthday girl, of course!

Someone tersibuk. heh heh.

Dan mereka yang terikut tersibuk.

Geng kiter la babe.

Balloons!

Kawan setiga.

Ok. Nuff. hahaha.

Sekawan, sekalian.

There's Chemistry class tomorrow and I'm meeting Shasha the Spiderman after that at the beach. Okay our first dating and I'm scared and nervous. Gotta bring some protections. (What were you thinking? Naw, I'm not referring to condoms you kaypohchis.)

Booyeah, I'm off to bed soon. But shitty shits, I haven't submit- more appropriately, haven't touch my fnn coursework eversince O levels fnn practical- yet. Dang!

yours truly,

hanisyra.

2008-06-09T18:01:00.001+08:00

Bila bunyi bersatu, kau milik ku...

My Sunday was spent (un)worthily watching kuda kepang live from the balcony of my apartment for 5 hours. To some who might not know what's kuda kepang, well it's a 'traditional' interesting dance that has strong links with spirit possession and often dancers went into a trance-like state. I've watched such performances many times before but this; it's something different because the possessions were for real. They were hypnotized, stepped on pieces of broken glasses, ate those glass pieces, raw flowers (those you taburkan ketika menziarah pusara), tear the husks of coconuts using their "powerful" teeth. They were caned using those long, stringray-like ropes (often used in prisons) and bamboo sticks (the ones your mothers use for hanging clothes) until the sticks were broken into halves. The performances were incredible.

They would first start the performance with a dance.

A tribute; eating those raw flowers.

Stepping on glass pieces- and dancing on it. Ouch!

Being asap-ed, caned and happily trotting around.

To end this game...

They would have to shake hands.

And wow, the spirits respected the decision to end it.

Another way of ending it; The tok guru pulling out the spirit from that guy's body. But before that they'd perform a silat.

Not forgetting, the kaypoh-chi onlookers. Ehem!

Speaking of incredible, I watched the Incredible Tales last night. The show wasn't really scary but I had trouble sleeping last night. Every time I closed my eyes, I started seeing those horrible masks and the KK dance, alongside with the music that is sungguh mengasyikkan dan memukau. Things didn't get any better when I began to listen to Dzull Rabul Jalil (please don't ask me why coz I just didn't know why I grabbed the CD and listened to it) and the only two monyet lelaki at home kept throwing things at me to make me feel frightened. Sungguh tidak membantukan keadaan. tsk.

I'm not someone who is really superstitious or gets frightened/scared easily but last night was something I had never experienced before. It's just so different and I never thought such performances would have impacts on one- like me. It's just so... memukau. Terutama sekali, irama yang mengajak menari bersama. Or maybe because there's someone there performing (ehem!)...

And for God's sake, I am not exaggerating. Try watching it and you'll love it. You'll want to join the team. But again, isn't it syirik? Oh wells.

yours truly,

hanisyra.

2008-06-04T10:16:00.003+08:00

Someone's been complaining my blog's getting dead. What more can I say? I shall have to blame it on school and O Levels. Why call it a holiday when you just have to keep coming back to school? Yknow, I haven't gotten a real holiday eversince the June holiday's started. I've been going to school like 24/7. My weekends? They're all spent studying with good friends at the library and McDonald's; just like last Saturday. (:

Last Saturday was well spent with Azyan dear, my dearest cyber pal I've known since we're only 11 years old. We hadn't met up for two years already so we finally met up again last saturday and headed to JRL for our study session (cum bitching session HAHAHAHA).

We're really the best of friends. Quite amazing, we've never had any misunderstanding or whatsoever and I always turn to her whenever I'm down with problems and talking about boys. HAH! Plus plus, we have the same mobile phones! =D

And we have yet to go out on a date again together with the other members of shanifazyan! (((:

So yesterday? Well had Physics class in the morning till afternoon then went off to SP for the immersion programme. I was grouped into the DMC (Diploma in Media and Communication). I wanted to be part of SCLS or SMA but gotten into this course. But anyways, I don't mind since I really enjoyed myself there (coz I brought home many chocolates! HAHAHA) as the activities were challenging and fun (and there were some hot guys too HAHAHAHAHA).

And booyeah, I skipped Physics class and my lepak-session with REENAA Toyol today coz I'm going to have a mini holiday later. Yeah, just a mini one. Like finally. HAH!

&Oh, have I mentioned I've gotten a new TTM? hahahahahaha! This one is a funny one. Stay tune to the next entry. Coming up soon! (((((((:

yours truly,

hanisyra.

boy oh boy.

2008-05-25T19:36:00.006+08:00

Oh boy. Why did you give me listen to those lovely songs and made me watch those melancholy movies? You do know I can't stomach them. It's making me reminiscing the past I ought to forget. Hell yeah, I've forgotten. What's now is something you couldn't have imagined of; dreams that are flowing in seem to turn like a reality. That's something I'm fret of. Idk how I'm going to handle that. I know it'll be a long journey but I can hardly wait. I'm drenched in trepidation and excitement that I'm lost.

-

Boy oh boy, tomorrow's GCE O Levels MT and I haven't lift my finger on any MT notes. Idk if I'm ready or not. I fear for the worst and the intensity of doing my very best is reaching its climax I think I shall just shoot myself. Whatever it is, InsyaAllah I'll do my very best just to see them smiling proudly. And alhamdulilah, my knight in shining armour's there by my side- just like how I need him now, badly.

Alhamdulilah again, I'm finally done with Maddy's exams and todays' papers were pretty breeze.

There ain't much time left but I'm going to drench myself with tears as I'm gonna watch Ayat-Ayat Love followed with Sunday dates with Arts Central before mugging for tomorrow's papers.

Anyway, have I mentioned that I cried while watching Akhirat? Yeah, I cried. &Oh, I'd like to have a husband like that guy! I love guys in uniforms 'coz they're very sexayyyyyyyyyy.

All the best for tomorrow's papers, sugars! (:
(Now, this is weird. I've been receiving text messages wishing lucks for tomorrow and am currently reading Izzati's blog. Oh, what a great reference! YOU SHOULD READ, GOOOOO!)

yours truly,
hanisyra.

2008-05-22T17:20:00.004+08:00

And so, skipped school today because the cramps hurt a lot. Planning to go to school in the afternoon but somehow don't-know-who that person asked me out for a movie and we went to watch What Happens in Vegas. I'll give 3 out of 5 for the movie. I'd like to watch Made of Honor and Sex & the City soon but don't know when since the bitchy Os MT is next Monday. &Gee, I think I'm the last person on Earth who still hasn't watch Congkak, hehe!

I was scanning through and deleting text messages in my phone when I started to read some messages from this someone. I'd say 70% of the messages were from him and I still hasn't delete them. They're ol' good memories and I kinda miss him. Idk why but I feel a twinge of pain in my heart. I feel so regretful for hurting and pushing him down. If only I can go back to the beginning from where I've started and correct everything. Tsk. I'd like to make him happy. IF ONLY. But whatever it is, I'm happy that he's happy with his someone new.

&I still have Os to mug and the textbooks to hug and kiss. Tell me again why Os is such a bitch?

yours truly,
hanisyra.

2008-05-21T19:28:00.000+08:00

It's such a waste I've let it down. You will never fathom how much regret I feel. I shouldn't have been too egoistic. But it's okay 'coz I'm gathering the pieces back together so I can complete the puzzle though there are risks of losing them.

What else can I say? What else can I ask for?
For you will never fathom what I mean.

yours truly,
hanisyra.

2008-05-20T18:04:00.002+08:00

These Nike bottles belong to my classmates of class Four-M-Dua and the blue one is mine! Haha yes, we have all the different colours. Right, cool.

MT Intensive's like killing me. I hate doing those paper works and I still owe Cikgu 5 essays. Ain't sure when I can complete them. Well, just expressing how much I've been hating school. Can't fcuking wait to graduate. Grrr.

However I'm very fortunate to have the crazy gundus sitting in the same row as me during MTI coz they just simply make my day EVERYDAY. Sayang kamu Hanissya, Iyrah and Hudae. Much much cheers, baybies! (:

Met Mummy & cousin and had lunch at KFC. Normal bitching and shopping sessions after school. Mummy seems to be like the tai-tai nowadays. I'll just laugh my head off everytime I imagine Mummy being a tai-tai, HAHAHA!

Right. My tummy doesn't seem okay. Shall blame on the two big glasses of Coke I've been drinking throughout the whole afternoon (which is a sin). GAH!, I'm out!

yours truly,
hanisyra.

There's always a reason for one to live.

2008-05-17T10:30:00.006+08:00

Have you ever woke up one day, sat on the bed and asked yourself; Why do God give me a life and What should I do with the life I'm given with?

I do. It happened to me many times and I used to regret for having to live in this cruel world but it all changed as I grow up, watching other people surviving their own life, gasping for air. I'm very thankful with what I have although I complain and whine like a bitch.

Everyone makes mistakes. We ought to forgive and forget. Why bring back old memories that hurts. Why revenge. Why does sarcasm has to be your weapon.

I've to admit this. Yes, I bitched about people and stuff. However as I grow up I realised it's not worth it and I was very very cruel to have done something so insensitive, something so hurtful. I've committed so much sins. I regret over what I've done in the past. I've mend my mistakes but it's not enough. People always judge you by the first impression they had on you. Call it unfair but you can't blame it all on them. It's your mistake in the first place, ain't it?

They've been saying I've changed. Yes, I'm aware of that and I feel good about it coz it's something that reflects the true me, something people aren't aware of all this while. They've been saying nasty things behind my back, so what? coz they don't understand and know WHO I AM. Furthermore I'm very much aware of some creatures who simply unhappy with the great life I'm living with therefore they say things they thought that might hurt me but it have never, for once, hurt me. Also, there are some creatures who feel terrified their good friends gonna stick with me like glue that they start pretending to be innocent angels yet they actually have such a rotten heart so that they can snatch my good friends from me for good.

Heh, some creatures. Tsk tsk. Such a sad life you're living, eh? I feel sorry for you, dear.

Seriously, I'm not going to give a shit about their comments because they never own me. It's me who I own. Thank you very much for boosting my self-esteem with those ugly comments you've made about me. Much appreciated. (:

Morale of the story; Every action has its consequences and you don't have to take revenge coz someone else will.

yours truly,
haney.

boys and relationships

2008-05-04T20:13:00.005+08:00

I've said this for more than the hundredth time but ohwells, I don't think you'll be believe me for the truth. Guess how long I've been single? Well, a month or so? WRONG! Ah, paiseh youuuuuu kambings!

I'VE BEEN SINGLE FOR 10 MONTHS!

It's something unbelievable and unexpected, I know. Shut up, bitches and morons. You know what, I feel like I am the happiest bitch on earth that I've been single for that long and I assume I have the aura to 'shoo' all the guys in the name of self-respect and discipline. For the innocent guys who have been let down by me, I'm truly sorry but I've to say this, I've no 'love feeling' for anyone and I ain't ready for a relationship at the moment.

Being single is super fun coz I can just simply flirt around like a Super Bitch (but I don't really do flirting la hey) with any boys and there won't be any jealousy kinda feeling. I'm sorry to a few victimised girls who felt that I've managed to "seduce" their boyfriends and made them broke up, but hey, I've to say this frankly; YOUR BOYFRIENDS AIN'T MY TYPE & it's them who went after me although I've rejected and puked right in their faces many times.

I've been leading a carefree and wonderful life without having a companion, and I'm enjoying that to the max. If I have a boyfriend, I don't think I can party like nobody's business coz the boyfriend would surely say "Dear, I don't like you partying and having fun with other guys." and that sounds like kcuf.

But now, I'm imagining how my life will look like when one day I have a boyfriend. We shall see, heh heh.

Actually I'm a little fussy bitch. I choose boyfriend like choosing a husband. I change TTMs like changing underwears. I have high expectation and big ego but I still do compromising. I am the most faithful bitch in Venus if the boyfriend's faithful to me. I don't take revenge. I simply forgive and forget.

However, this is another truth which may seem unbelievable and unexpected.

I ONLY HAD A BOYFRIEND IN 2007 (and he's freakingly hot; hotter than your mom's oven)

But it was sad coz I only like him for his hot-ness and sometimes I do miss him but it's a sad little thing both of us had no feelings for each other. I never had a feeling for him but I pretended I did and I eventually forced myself to love him but I couldn't. Because of some matters, I talked dick so as to gain the 'better response' of it but it didn't work out and eventually, we broke up. I was very suprised that I didn't cry after we broke up although I forced myself to so as to let the feelings flow and move on. But I just couldn't. Because I am a strong bitch and I have big ego; bigger than your mom's breasts.

&Kcuf it, I choose boyfriends wisely and to me, mat-reps are such a turn-off.

So Mr Firdaus, that matrep we saw in the bus just now is so NOT my type. (:

And to some lovely sluts out there, it's a great pleasure having to sleep with your boyfriends because I am a bitch. Bitch is better than slut because I don't do pre-marital sex or sleep with any guys. Thank you.

But anyway, I love being called a bitch because it's a nice name and I don't seem to have a problem with you, and I am very very very elated with my life as it is. (: (: (:

yours truly,
hanisyra.

2008-05-03T23:36:00.004+08:00

(KCUF. Blogger's screwing me! Urgh.)

Alright, this is something I captured yesterday while I was walking down the streets with Huda. Have a guess first. But anyways, it's a picture of a tikus or also known as a MOUSE that has been penyek-ed and it stays flat with its bulu-bulu on the body. However, no blood was found. SHEESH.

THAT'S PLAIN DISGUSTING, I KNOW, THAT'S WHY I'D LIKE TO SHARE IT WITH YOU, DISGUSTING PEOPLE.

Have that aside. Anyways;

After putting down the phone talking to Fada, I just realised I've been super busy that my 'recreation time' has been very much affected. Least to say, I'm so not up-to-date about fashion issues, the latest talk of the town and such. I've been neglecting my dear friends and I kept turning down their offers/MIA-ing myself from gatherings and partying with them. I just realised it's been such a loooooooooooooooooooong time since I last had a cocktail and gossips. Uh-oh.

However I'm feeling rather good now that once in my whole lifetime, I practised math for more than 5 hours. Yes, 5 hours. (But actually nothing much got into my brains. Heh heh.)

I shall go to bed now coz I'm planning to wake up early tomorrow to complete my assignments, study for a test and do some revisions before going Maddy later in the afternoon.

And oh, I think I MISS HIM tonight.

Whoever shall be the HIM, but certainly not that mat-rep guy la kay. MATREPS ARE SUCH A TURN-OFF. Ha-ha!

Good night, sweet darlings! (:

yours truly,
hanisyra.

birthday and gratitude

2008-05-01T12:24:00.000+08:00

I still think it's never too late for me to say THANK YOU to the wonderful gorgeous people who wished me Happy Birthday, sang me the birthday song with the whole band and the presents, of course!

Yesterday, I received another belated present from Arianah, Sarah and Nureen. I've to say, I felt so touched when Sarah handed me the gift that I hugged her, Arianah and Nureen right at that point I was soaking wet with my sweats (PE la oiii!). Also, to Fird for giving that gift I needed so much and I simply love it, really! Thank you bro, ILY! hahahaha!

My special thanks to mummy & daddy, My Moo, my old dear cuzzie, Shamyah (my running 10-years bestfriend), Firdaus, Huda, Liyana & Haziqah, Sarah, Arianah and Nureen, and the rest too (very very very sorry if I've missed you out. Tell me if your name's not here. Hee.) for the birthday presents. I really really really appreciate and love it. (:

Also not forgetting, the birthday wishes via text messages from Azyan (the 6-years cyber bestfriend), Izzati (bestfriend from primary school), Huda (my sugar), Iqmal (the annoying smart boy), Natasha (the pretty girlfriend), Afifah (the loving & caring cyber bestfriend), Firdaus (the tall bestfriend, hehe!), Hidayah (kawanku yg pemalas nak gi Maddy), Noridah (the clever girl in class), Zaki, Amsyar, Ain, Jannah (my ex-boyf's sis), Shamyah (the running 10-years bestfriend), Ashraf (someone I fought childishly before HAHAHAHA!) and for causing my phone's Inbox to be full, and the rest who wished me via Friendster and MySpace and so on.

It gotta be a long list if I were to list all the names down, but sweethearts, THANK YOU VERY MUCH and may our friendship last till eternity. Much much appreciated. ((((:

And the band who sang me the birthday sang as a band. I LOVE YOU GUYS! Cheers!

Right, now I'll have to roll the long list. LOL.

yours truly,
hanisyra.

We Will Rock You, yeah!

2008-04-27T15:52:00.000+08:00

Told ya, We Will Rock You rocks my underwear, yeah!

I'm very thankful I was fortunate enough to grab the last two tix to the musical at the Esplanade yesterday with half of the class and spending some precious moments with them (since it's the last year this year).

The musical just didn't seem to be like any other musicals because it turned out more to be like a rock concert or perhaps, a gig? Haha, you decide. But whatever it is, I'll rate it 8 out of 10. (:

(Actually, no photography is allowed. But me being me, oh wells. LOL.)

After the musical, we head down to Arab St to grab our dinner and it cost us this little for 9 peeps. (& I saw Shamy dear at the restaurant! But she looked rather puzzled, HAHA!)

Then, off to Bugis for awhile but nothing interest me so I decided to go home since four of them had already departed but a few minutes later, another four of them joined me and 'persuaded' me to take the MRT with them and perhaps going to a KTV later that night.

So we took the MRT but the subway was jam-packed with creatures so we had to wait for the next train. While waiting, we did this:

This 'trend' seemed popular ages ago but well, we're bored. (:

And I think Alson looked rather hot last night so I decided to take this oppurtunity to stand next to him and have this:

Once we've reached the north, I decided to just go home straight as I was tired and would be having Maddy the next day, and so I didn't join them to KTV. Almost midnight when I texted Agnes how's the KTV, she said they didn't go. Instead they went on VODKA-ING!!!! Right at that point, I felt so wasted. I should have joined them. Damn. Nevermind. Hmpfff.

Nevertheless, I had a wonderful time with them;

and the rest too. (:

Whoa, a "wonderful" composition with pictures. Haha!

yours truly,

hanisyra.

2008-04-16T23:07:00.000+08:00

Yes, I did say I had no feelings for him but fuck it, why am I shedding tears now after last night's incident of which I lied to him (for the second time) just because I got embarrassed of my ownself? Darn, it's only embarrassment and not shame, because being ashamed is all together another different story. Yeah, I learnt that from my Literature class. (Hah, so much for being a Literature student.)

Fuck la, I'm missing him like heaven can! But now, I'm ashamed of myself for telling lies. SHEESH.

On the brighter side of the note, the GP gave me four days of MC, meaning I won't be going to school throughout this whole week. Yeah, "holiday" baybeh! I, being a superbionic girl (as defined by someone), went on a retail therapy cum my belated birthday celebration with cousin and mummy today. Luck was on my side, I received a pair of Everlast skimmers I wanted all this while and a silk chiffon dress. Ah, lovely.

&Hudae rang me when I was on the way home just now and said, "Your birthday presents are all under my desk in school." HAHAHAHA!

&Shamy wanted to post the gift into my residential postbox. HAHAHAHA!

No I'm not laughing because of any stupidity but I just find it funny somehow LOL.

I shall have my hot bubble bath now. Gonna listen to Celine Dion's and cry myself to sleep. Baby, IMY.

&Oh dear, tomorrow I won't be in Singapore. Flying overseas. I'm gonna miss him even more and the bayyybies. BOOHOO!

yours truly,
hanisyra.

2008-04-14T21:36:00.005+08:00

School has been pathetic and driving me sick. My life seems to sound prosaic as each day passes by. I'm getting sick of school, or is it the school that is driving me sick? Yeah, I've been skipping schools and classes for the hundredth time but today was one of the worst. I woke up at 10 this morning, only to find myself with a temperature of 39.8 degree celsius and my head could have weighed more than a ton and what's with the double vision.

And the macho nurse defined as having hyperpyrexia. HAHAHAHA (it's an inside joke LOL)

Speaking of him, it brings hatred and hurt to me. We seemed nothing to each other and there's no strings attached between us. I just felt this TTM relationship isn't going anywhere. So last night I took the courage of spitting it all out. I told him the truth that I seriously have no feelings for him; and those words of confession somehow had hit him hard. I regret a few hours later. But now, everything is back to square one where we'd just ask each other "How's your day?" kinda stuff. There's nothing much. No feeling interaction sort of thing. It's getting prosaic sometimes and it seems he just can't be bothered about who I am.

Needless to say, he didn't even know when's my birthday.

And now I'm hurt because of my own ego and selfishness.

yours truly,
hanisyra.

2008-04-12T21:56:00.003+08:00

Someone turns sixteen today. Ehem! (:

The past few days had been solemn and serene that my eyes turned out to be like Panda's. Yes, I've been crying and I cried again today. This is something that's just not the new me. I cried not because I feel sad or angry but I feel touched with the people around me and the criticism I've been receiving had made me feel stronger each day I'm lifting my head up high like nobody's business.

Something for some morons out there to be joyful about. I guess I've changed pretty a lot and I think you morons love it because you managed to bring me down. Ah, thanks so much.

The relationship between him is seriously not going any where so I've made the decision to distance myself away from him but it hurts a little too much. Wait, I don't think I'm really hurt cause I think, THINK, I've found someone better. Yeah, I love Mr Tang! Oka-ay, not literally love as in love la. Aiyoh! HAHA!

FYI. Mr Tang is someone I met during Super Teen Camp. HAHAHAHA! I think you can guess who already. LOL.

&Super Teen is really superrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr it made me cried like nobody's business. I love Mummy and Daddy and I love MYSELF. &Yes, I love Mdm FADZILAH hoiiiiii!

Shall get back to coursework. Must make Mdm Fadzilah proud. Wah, semangats beb! Haha!

yours truly,
hanisyra.

2008-03-25T20:00:00.004+08:00

gw benar benar nggak nyanka lorh tega lakuin ini semua di hadapan gw. emangnya apa salah gw. lorh yang berselingkuh. gw jujur sama lorh. gw setia tau nggak. apakah ini balasan gw yang patut gw trima? gw benci lorh. gw benciiiiiiiii banget!!!

the more you did that, the more i'll get even.
______________________________________________

School was crap and I slept during F&N test and my dreams were awesome. Idk why I keep having dreams about him. When I went to school with Asyraf this morning, I asked him, "Apakah maknanya apabila acapkali anda bermimpi mengenai seseorang yang amat anda rindui dan mimpi-mimpi itu semua manis banget?" (yeah I'm practising my Malay now coz my language is sooo rotten and there's MT Oral on Friday. wth.)

After chemprac, Huday and me went to some random void deck and slack around doing Accounts like some smart ass kid *kissmyass* and there were two coincidence things that happened. First, I met Amil unexpectedly and he was on the motor bike and he looked uber HOT HOT in green tee (& i did not say green TEA). When he texted me, only then I remembered he lives the opposite block we lepak-ed at. Sheesh. Second, when we were about to finish the last few questions of Accounts assignment, Jepon turun with his niece unexpectedly. & so we talked cock for some time and I licked his niece. His niece is so damn bloody cute and she's FAT and she wears Drypers and not Whisper. (okay that was just some random lame joke we had just now)

"YEAHHHH, I'm fat! Unlike you!"

"See my perut buncit!"

"I wear Drypers taw!"

And Jepon smokes gulung! HAHAHA!

This used to be my second best. LOL. okay, i don't smoke actually. ehem!

hanisyra.

2008-03-24T22:27:00.004+08:00

Ahhhhhhhhh, school was so random today. I was looking forward to finish school asap so I can get back to my baby; my BED. Instead of going home straight, accompanied dear Nurul to cwp and went french fries-ing at Mcdonalds. Yknow, Mcdonalds seems to be my third home. Why third? Coz my home is my first, school is second. I shall find out what's my fourth home. Hmm... guess it's the void deck? Naw, i don't really do lepaks stuff. But shrugs, after knowing this sweet and gentleman boy, I think I'm kinda addicted to mat/minah stuff and sheesh, I don't really understand why I swear and curse alot nowadays. Bleargh. That's so not me okay!

And matreps/minahreps aren't that bad afterall. You should try knowing them first before judging something that's just, well, not true as it's just based on your own prejudice thoughts and mentality.

&Oh, we got our class tees (or jerseys would be an ideal word) but more than half the class WAS NOT HAPPY with the design whatsoever. They said it was pretty stupid we had to fucking fork out $18.60 for something so... crappy? Sheesh. And they said the names (as in our names) are printed soooooo small and the design at the back is not bold enough. The design at the back somehow just didn't match with jersey-like material. Okay whatever, I can't be bothered to dwell on such stuff. What matters me most is; SHOULD I or SHOULDN'T I?

Yeah the ex-boyfriend's birthday's coming up yet I'm still thinking if I should really get him something? But still, I have dignity and my ego is as big as the DHL hot air balloon. Okay whatever. I just finished typing the malay composition and I have yet to email it to my dear MT teacher and VEd project to the respective VEd teacher and not to mention, COURSEWORK. BLEARGHHHHHH.

hanisyra.

2008-03-23T18:34:00.005+08:00

Pretty much things happened for the past few days. I was pretty glad Friday was a holiday because that's equivalent to SLEEPING. Anyways there was some sports events held in school on Thursday and I had signed up for Floorball but ended up playing more than 5 matches; Floorball AND Captain's Ball. Okay yeah, typical secondary school games but it was a hell fun thing okeh. I love my floorball team. My team mates are awesome. They're just beginners but they played, Ya Allah, power giler babs la sey! Rather than me who just stood there holding the floorball stick. Good news, my team is going to the finals!!! But, I have a feeling we'll just get in the second place. Cmon, everyone knows which ever team that competes with Nureen's team will DIE. yeah, literally D.I.E. okay enough.

As for captain's ball, I joined at the very last minute when they were short of a member. Again, my team mates are very very very good. Pretty and friendly people, I love! And oh, I got some minor injuries during captain's ball. All thanks to the opponent teams who played tooooo rough and the Sports Leaders who are just, well, UNFAIR. And my team got into the third placing for captain's ball. Hell yeahhhhh!

(anyway shame on you, those student leaders, for portraying such "good" examples. heh.)

I went on a running date on Friday morning with Mimin but I couldn't run. There were cramps all over my body. Not because of Thursdays' games but, err well, whatever. After running, went downtown for some stuff and went dinner cum supper late at night with the family.

Saturday? Basic thing in the morning; classes. I was in the middle of my class when My Moo texted me, asking me to accompany him to watch TJC Dance at the Drama Centre. Apelagi, happy giler la kan. By right, I was done with dressing up but he said I should try wearing dresses. I got myself changed for god knows how many times and quickly bathe and put on my favourite never-wear-before brown satin silk dress I bought last year during a festive season sale. We took the train to YCK and from there took cab to the National Library and I THINK i'm pretty hot with the ah peck for being bods enough. The dance wasn't really nice. I still think SA's the best in terms of JC-wide dance concerts. But NUS dance is terrific.

But lemme tell you this; it is certainly NOT funny to wear a brand new peep-toe 4-inch stilettos running up the escalator to the fifth floor okay! And I say, LITERALLY RUNNING tau. (and dammit I still have to fork out some cash just to get a pair of flip-flops when money conservation is much needed. pfft.)

the Aftermath.

Hmpfff. So much in the name of elegance. I still think my Chuck Taylors's the best, even if I were to pair with an evening gown. SHEESH.

The evening part was a history.

Caught a performance by students from ITE College East at Arab St.

My Sunday? Skipped Maddy coz Reenaa Robot gave some lame excuses (and I later found out she's L-A-Z-Y hahahaha!) she wanted to skip today's class and Snow white? Well, shrugs. Dammit, I was looking forward to Maddy today because of some eye-candies I'd like to look out for but.... nevermind.

And now the reason why I'm switching on the computer is because I NEED to complete my coursework but ended up doing something that is very very very unnecessary. Just because you nosy people wanted to read some one's random entry. HAHAHAHA.

okay, LMAO. time to hit the buzzer, loser! BOOOOO!

hanisyra.

2008-03-18T00:15:00.003+08:00

idk what's wrong with these people nowadays. Sometimes I thought I just couldn't stand here any longer. The atmosphere is too dense with prejudice minds and souls. It's shrinking, can't you see that? And it's shrinking my mind and heart to just look down on you.

Tell me if this is something to do with jealousy, dear someone. I'm sorry if I happened to be the third party here and you feel neglected by them. I never want things to be this way but shrugs, I feel the hatred you have in me. Those few lines you've spoken to me tells me so much about you. I'm sorry if I'm losing my respect on you. Thanks to you, dear someone. You wanted it to be this way, don't you?

FYI dear someone, I'm not exactly a kid you can fool around.

tsk. so much for false pretence. GROW UP, THINK BRIGHT.

hanisyra.

hot. ness.

2008-03-17T23:34:00.004+08:00

I've confirmed it. I'm going to skip school tomorrow. Ah, so much for deep-conditioning my hair in the evening just now.

I think this is so not like me but I've been looking forward to school this term but I just hate it with the fact that I have to endure these shits of night-sweats, cold and being hyper once every 2 minutes.

I think I'm going to have another bath- with icy cold tap water added with ice from the freezer.
Can somebody like fcuking put me in the bathtub and bathe me? I don't think I have the capability to walk those few metres to the bathroom (but to go online is always a CAN-CAN).

okay fuck. i need the air con at -10 degrees. im fucking HOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.

hanisyra.

2008-03-13T20:43:00.002+08:00

& so, I just reached home from towning with Mimin just now. Skipped three classes today. I just didn't have the feeling of going to school. Call it attitude, I don't mind. Anyways towning with Mimin was so-so today. Nothing much, just cuci mata-ing.

I'm going out again in awhile, watching Step Up 2 with bestie boyfie then head off to his crib for sleepover, but I guess Gays' Night is more appropriate, with his mates. No worries I'll bring my Mt. Kilimajaro-inspired assignments and naproxen along and I'll remember to wake up early tomorrow morning for school (DAMN!) but before that, running date with Mimin at 7am. Awesome. I just need to work out baybeh, yeah!

How I wish the pains in my head will disappear in no time. TSK. You do know how much I hate it whenever I have to take naproxen aye. Alright, take care sweet angels.

hanisyra.

2008-03-12T20:21:00.002+08:00

I'm sorry for being MIA. Many things happened I couldn't express how I'm feeling.

Friday's PTC suck. Mummy didn't want to come down and I was the LAST person my FT talked to. My results suck okay! Yeah yeah I failed 4 subjects and I failed English for the first time in my life, dammit! But I shall be thankful there were great creatures out there. Many thanks to Fifi for listening to my complains and whines when he should be celebrating (you did PRETTY GOOD can!) and of course my dearest Mimin for giving me the support. I reached home almost 11pm (after we parted at the bus stop, I strolled around the neighbourhood) and went out again, headed downtown and hang around till 2am.

I skipped flag day and tuition on Saturday. Packed my bag, went to the library to drop off some books (and saw some schoolmates doing flag day) and went to catch the 10am flight to somewhere. I just thought I need to ease my mind and being alone is very very very good. Later in the evening, I took the second last flight to Malaysia and joined Mummy and dearest cousins for some family gathering. It was good and I managed to meet with some new eye-candies. Hah!

There was a workshop in EVG on Monday and I went for the sake of meeting my fellow long-time-never-meet, aku-rindu-kau-giler-babs friends. The lectures were damn boring can but I busied myself with text messages and camwhoring with the people who were in the same hall. How lame!

That dashing guy (ehem!) invited me to join him and his friends for some sleepover (more appropriate; GAY NIGHTS) at ECP but I declined politely. A few minutes later, the guy I met during Share-Lit programme that day asked me out for some movie and I declined again. Why? Coz I've promised Mimin. But at last Mimin couldn't make it and I spent my Tuesday sleeping and movie-marathon. What a great day!

There was a class today and nothing much happened. I just realised my holiday is so damn short. It's coming to an end already and I haven't enjoy my holiday to the fullest. And dammit, there's 3 classes tomorrow and 2 classes on Friday. But it's okay, I'm going to spend time with Mimin tomorrow afternoon.

I love Mimin, yeah! (:

Oh my. It's so random, isn't it?

hanisyra.

2008-03-07T16:27:00.003+08:00

If I could shout and scream and vociferate, I would have done it years ago.

I'm getting mad and angry and sorry for you. I'm sorry if I'm beginning to detest you. If something were to happen, please allow me to blame it on you. Thanks ALOT, dear!

I don't fathom what's with the sudden change with your attutide. You don't seem to care anymore. It's obvious you just don't love me anymore but you keep denying the truth. Why are you getting selfish and egocentric as each day passes by?

Eversince the new year started, many drastic changes have been happening in my life. Some are good but some are just enigmatic. Guess it's time for me to get out now and scream my lungs out. Hope someone out there is kind enough to influence me to skip PTC this evening and tomorrow's flag day.

& I hope you smelly bitches were having a great time gossiping about me. Thanks uh for transferring your points to my Right. Really appreciate that.

Goodbye morons.

hanisyra.

2008-03-05T19:07:00.000+08:00

School bored the shit out of me today. My head and eyes felt damn heavy I thought I would need some strings to pull my head up straight and high and match sticks to open my eyes wide enough, just like in the Mr Bean's holiday. Okay, that's dramatic but I spent 50% of the day lying down and sleeping and the sick bay seemed to be calling me. It's ludicrous but my classmates kept taking turns going to the sickbay and there's someone who arrived there with a stretcher even! See, how pathetic can school be?

Math test was a shit just now. It was 1h 30min paper but I literally slept (with wonderful dreams) for an hour and did the paper 15 minutes. My school can be pathetic sometimes. There wasn't any teachers invigilating seriously for our Math class so there you go, the peeps were shouting/discussing/sharing answers with one another. And Toby was a good mate just now. Hah!

Thought of going home straight after the test and take a nap before I start on my BORING coursework and homeworks but ended up going cuci mater and KFC with Nurul. I must say Nurul is so power giler babs la. Sayang dia! She's a good friend la you. Yes I have to admit you're one hell of a bloody patient and magnanimous person. Thanks uh hunny! (:

Now now, I shall start digging my brains and Googling for assignment before it starts to pile up and look like Mount Kilimanjaro. But I just realised something- I'm still in my "stinky" school uniform and FBT shorts, gobbling Maggi as I'm typing this whole load shit. HAH!

eh, very random eh?

hanisyra.

NUTS.

2008-03-04T14:07:00.003+08:00

So I skipped school today and I'm still thinking of some possible reasons why I've skipped school. I can be nuts sometimes. (:

Few more days to holidays. That's something I'm counting on to coz I really feel I need some precious rest (away from MSN, Friendster and text messages) and especially having DATES. Ah, I simply can't wait! Not to mention, SWIMMING baybehhhhhh! Love love love!

Currently, I'm going nuts over my not-anything-pretty bucket bag. Mummy and Moo thought I'm nuts when I mentioned of buying another new bucket bag since I'm not contented enough with the one I recently bought while going shopping date with Mimin last week. Heheh.

Alright, time to hit the library now! Good day, sweet angels. MWAHS!

hanisyra.

note to self explainary.

2008-03-03T20:54:00.002+08:00

And i know myself more than you do.

I had a pretty good day today because I had a good hair day and Someone commented on it. Gee. School was just some basic random thing. The day started off pretty fast and ended pretty fast too. I had laid out my plans what to do after school since there's no Chemistry class in the afternoon but it didn't turn out as planned. I ended up going over to Mimin's crib and we chatted and hang around in her sister's room. Don't ask me why I had ended up going over to her place. Hah!

Anyway, i know some people might have noticed my changes. I pretty like the new me now; getting better in the 'low-profile level' and being quiet. I only talk and become loud at certain necessary time. Other than that, I feel it's good having to keep it all to myself and see different things without having to comment much. I think this is good. Don't you think so?

And oh, I'm becoming more independent now. Emii and some guys have been telling me that. So is it a good thing or a bad one? You shall decide. (:

Apart from being quiet, I'm getting all egoistic. I keep denying the fact that I missed him and I should stop thinking about him but what can I do when it's all coming back to me now. Ah, Celine Dion's my drugs now. I love her songs especially IT'S ALL COMING BACK TO ME NOW.

No no no, I don't love him so why should I miss him?
Yes yes yes, it's nothing wrong having to miss your ex-boyfriend, isn't it?
GAH!

hanisyra.

2008-02-28T20:33:00.004+08:00

I'm counting minutes and hours now. I can't wait to meet Mimin tomorrow for our Fridays-date. Last Friday we head down to Orchard and spent 80% camwhoring and tomorrow we're heading down to Bugis. And oh, I am indeed VERY DESPERATE for a bucket bag. Bucket bags are soooo pretty la! Lalalala~

we swapped uniforms and CELL PHONES TOO!

we love us!

back to school with TINKERBELL i love! I almost bought that bag. Very cute kan? I KNOW!

say, reto-ish? Hmmm...

This awesome cute purse + watch. Cool la seyyyy!

Shoplifters on the loose LOL!

ah eh budak EVG sesat uh tapi cute kans? EEW.

a fine eskimo lost. DEFINE.

i like her nonchalant look. AWESOME.

photography skills?

Definitely more pictures tomorrow. Stay tune pretty angels!

"eh korang sekolah dari Woodie kan?"

"ah... errr... tak uh... ah, uh uh..."

"alah akak tau nyer. dulu akak sekola same dgn awak. amacam EVG skrg?"

"no no you've got the wrong person I'm not from EVG."

"eh eh budak ni. betul la EVG kan. eh amacam?"

"tak la kak. saya bukan. saya bukan EVG."

"ah bedek uh korang. beh baju ni...?"

"baju je pe..."

An extract of a conversation I had with a very pretty and friendly salesgirl from Forever 21 who mistook me being an EVGian because she was once an EVGian. what a thing....!

hanisyra.

changing world.

2008-02-28T20:02:00.003+08:00

One morning as I was waiting for the bus to go to school, somone very gracious had asked if I was okay and I was very very very touched that he actually cared. A few days later, an aquaintance, who is slowly transforming into a good friend, had tried to help me by understanding me and solving my problems I recently had (or maybe old ones which I just didn't notice). These pulchritudinous people are what I call as TRUE FRIENDS.

I am more thankful than I should be. That's the reason why sometimes you'll see me laughing/smiling in transit or tears welling up in my eyes.

Eversince the new year started, my world has changed so much I couldn't find my true self-identity. Some friends might have been wondering why I'm not together with the normal clan I used to stick with and some might have asked why I've changed.

The reason is very lucid. I NEED CHANGES AS I'M GROWING OLDER. That's my reason.

I mean, I can't be growing up having stucked in the same environment witnessing the same things again and again right. I'm only 15 and I can't be bothered to think about my dream guys and children I'd like to have one day. I mean not now. I have better things to do such as practise more Math. I simply can't be living in a fantasy when I'm footing on the reality. I don't wish to add more sins to my Left by gossiping about others. They have their own lives to live and why do we have to invade their privacy? Let them be. So that's the reasons why I've distanced myself from her.

Oh please take note, I'm not taking her as my enemy or anything. So coward/childish people out there who would like to take advantage out of this situation, do you mind helping me just to mind your own business and don't add salt to the wound? Your help is very much appreciated. Thank you.

On the hand, I simply don't fathom this. I have better things to do seriously rather than going gaga over someone's boyfriend and I can't believe ~~MEN~~ BOYS are soooo kaypoh-ish and like to gossip. I thought he was a good friend but it turned out that he's a bloody good two-faced bastard who thought I was making fool use of him. tsk tsk. some immature people...

Whatever it is, I can't be bothered with these child's play of immature brats coz these aren't my problems. My problem now is HOW TO GET ALL DISTINCTION FOR O LEVELS. (:

Happy happy day everyone!

hanisyra.

2008-02-17T21:04:00.003+08:00

I've been bottling everything inside within me I thought I'm going to explode one day. But it didn't. I tried screaming and shouting but no sound came out or maybe it's just because no one heard. More appropriate, nobody cared. I've gasping for air yet there's no more oxygen left. Everything around me seems to fall apart, or is it because I've ruined it somehow?

The other day I was given two roads to choose from. I couldn't decide. I stood there long. Long enough I could have fallen asleep. When I woke up, I was on a different road and everything seemed so different I couldn't regconise the world. Not even myself. Only then I realised I've changed somewhat somehow. I wanted to get back from where I was but I had no place tickets and no money to purchase any.

I wasn't given any choice. I just had to live my life with whatever I have. Although I'm thankful enough that God has blown a life into a 10-months old baby and has fully grown old enough to make decisions, I couldn't stand up straight. I fell down without I even tried. I felt too scared and too worried. Many thoughts ran through my mind. It was like a maze. An intricate maze to be precised.

I'm still counting days. And I know I will explode one day.

hanisyra.

2008-02-15T21:38:00.003+08:00

actually i never wanted to post any criticism or not-so-nice remarks on my blog but since it's MY space i shall just rant everything and anything i want.

some people are getting on my nerves now, seriously i cannot stomach two-faced bitches any longer. can't you just simply appreciate of what others had done for you? why do you still have to talk behind everyone's back? i don't fathom why and i got enough of that, Ms Old Goody-Two-Shoes. stop acting like you're dominating the place and everyone.

i'm getting sick of having people controlling over my life. it's my own life okay! who are you to arrange everything, to allow who i can be friend with or not. you're not even my parents. my parents are far off better than you idiots.

your choice of words really irk me day by day. please la, i'm not the type of person who you can just fool around with your sweet-talkings and empty promises. i'm one bit not jealous of whatever you've said. instead i'm very happy that you've found your "right one" and i'm not your "right one". it's a pity you haven't grown up, enough. TSK.

by the way i'm not your dog. so please stop treating me like i'm your dog and stop giving commands on my. it's never cool, okay?

HMPFFFFF.

on a brighter side of the note, today was the day we commemorate Total Defence Day. As the "ehem", you know I'm the "so-called" student leader, I had to do the duty of which i wasn't really looking forward to. Why? You would have known it yourself. The duty didn't turn out as bad as I thought coz I really had very good laughs throughout carrying the duty. And and and i was the "cute one". Aha! I taknak pisang tu. I nak yang pisang tuuuuu. That was what I said to Shafiq a few times and the conversation was overheard by few others and we had a really good crack about it sampai terbawa-bawa ke assembly. tsk tsk. But what made me laugh most was when we were at the D&T HOD. The part where Iqmal tried to bang the door down and the boys pretended, well, like F1 or some pull-the-string toy? HAHA!

I don't go to CCAs anymore. It's sickening. Plus I have classes every Friday now. However I skipped my class today and accompanied "Mr Fadz" to YCK to fetch his little sister. I got very very very embarrassed in the bus we took to Yishun then to Woodie. His little sister was too noisy that she became good friends with a stranger sitting next to her and her bro. I, the one who sat behind them, just rolled my eyes and pretend I didn't know them at all. Hah! But anyways that stranger from NYP was cute and friendly enough to entertain his little sister drama. HAHAHA! And we exchanged number. As in ME and that cute stranger. HAH! ((:

Then we head down to Fadz's crib. His parents were out and we're bored. At last, we ended up watching EHEM!. okay, you know i know everyone don't know LMAO.

shall end here. pretty pooped. still haven't done with mugging. tests next week. daymn.

and oh, what a random entry. (:

hanisyra.

2008-02-14T23:22:00.002+08:00

I don't exactly celebrate Valentines Day because it doesn't seem anything special to me. Not as special as Christmas or my Birthday. Huhu. But still, I did receive some gifts from fellow friends and you-know-whos. (:

I somewhat had my Vday date yesterday instead. Once the last bell rang, my heart kept skipping some beats. Dashed out of the school ASAP and strolled down to the train and met him and went downtown. It was a nice date anyways. (: (but the part when it's not so nice is when YOU'RE BROKE A.K.A. CASHLESS. And that was me.)

When I was waiting for the bus with the guys in the morning, saw this very lovey couple from MJC. The guy is pretty and so is the girl. There, in the girl's hands, was a bouquet of flowers. It was beautiful. I wish I had one. HAH! But what a pity, I'm still single AND LOVING IT! ((((:

I was late for school for the third time this term and had to go detention and Clinic Session and NE Champs duty but skipped all of them. Went home ASAP and got changed and went out again. Had another date with another him. It was a nice date too. ((:

I pretty much enjoyed both dates I had; yesterday and today. I love the gifts too. Thanks hunneys. I LOVE YOU ALL TOO!!!! (((:

Anyhoots, HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

hanisyra.

2008-02-10T10:36:00.003+08:00

I was looking forward so much to CNY holidays and the holidays turned out to be a blast! Now I missed my cuzzies and the mood of not having to worry any assignments or tests. Huhu!

The family head down to the hometown which is across the ocean with another person who joined us too. Pretty long story why she had to join us and everything. I was ecstatic to meet cuzzies and the best of all, RETAIL THERAPY.

i was bored during the 2 hours journey so i camwhored in the car (:

First destination was to go over to my aunt's crib first to have our brunch (new word from Dr Love). There, I met with some second cousins who I never talked but met many times before. They were all boys. We had long conversations mostly about politics, currents affairs and such. Of course not forgetting to ask them where can I find good bargain goods at low & cheap prices! HAHA! Typical me. Then they brought me around the place and had a good lil sight-seeing because I never explored the place before.

Favourite uncle and cuzzies.

After a few hours at my aunt's crib, we then head down to the hometown. Met with the super uber cute lil cuzzies especially Zura whom I love most. I spent the late afternoon lazing around. In the evening, we went to the brand new shopping mall in the rural-turning-into-an-urban-place. I was pretty much delighted upon seeing Outfitters Studio, Adidas, Levi's, Carlo Rino, The Chicken Rice Shop and the list goes on in that mall. Moo and me shopped till we dropped. Okay, that's somewhat cliche, but we bought many things there. Let me ask you, can you resist seeing a very nice pair of skinnies at RM29.90??? You know the answer! After all our energy had been used up for shopping, we needed to fuel it back. So we went to my another aunt's restaurant and dine in there. It's a must to dine in at my aunt's restaurant every time we go back to hometown coz almost everything is FREE and we can order as much as we want! Hah!

This was what happened when you shopped till you dropped! (:

I woke up early the next morning and we had the all-ladies outing with mummy and 3 other aunts. I didn't know makcik-makcik kat sana pergi pasar pakai Hejab Irans and stilettos. Haha! Went to the wet market first then to Carrefour then to some other places. By the afternoon I was pooped and had a nap.

Lovely yet annoying noisy cuzzies LOVE!

When I woke up, daddy wanted me to buy EHEM. Unfortunately the nearest shop there was closed. I was considered fortunate enough to bump into my SUPER HOT cousin who was soooo willingly to give me a ride on his new motorcycle. I was awkward at first coz I never rode on anyone's motorcycle before except daddy. So standard procedure applied, hands on the waist, hugging the motorcyclist. I did that but I somehow felt it was wrong when some eyes were on us. Only then I remembered I was in a conservative kinda place and SHOULD BEHAVE. But my, he's my cousin la youuu. Then he brought me around the place and the best of all, we didn't even put on any helmets. HAHA! Late that night we had to depart for home sweet home to avoid the causeway jam. It was sad my holidays were too short. Nevermind, after Os I can stay there and tanam jagung. HAHAHA! ((:

Anyway lemme introduce to you our all-time favourite star; Zura!

This photo was taken during Rayer 2007. Cute, ain't she?

Guess how old is she? 2 years old yet she's photogenic! Tengoklah sedara saper kan...Heees.

I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO THE NEXT HOLIDAYS! (((:

hanisyra.

rapid changes

2008-02-04T17:20:00.001+08:00

The world is developing too fast everyone's on the move. The country feels challenged and threatened.

I hate the education system. I hate everything. I simply don't fathom why the country is developing so rapidly that I couldn't blink my eyes for a moment. There's where the anxiety attacks and that's why the illegal drugs market is increasing. They feel that by doing so they're able to turn everyone into Albert Eistein within seconds. Oh my, they're wrong. Very wrong. Their predictions are too false to admit the truth. And goodness, they're making the mental institute as the first home and the sea and skyscrapers as the second ones.

I can't believe I did that. It was too much too bear. Though I'm still thankful there's someone out there.

I can hardly wait for the CNY. Not that I'm celebrating but I just need some peace for a moment. I'm heading down to Tioman Island and/or the hometown for some retail therapy. I just realised I really need retail therapy (although I just gotten myself 4 pairs of shoes last week, typical girls)

God bless you. Amen.

hanisyra.

NAFA with the Cowoks.

2008-02-03T12:56:00.000+08:00

Everyone has their own love stories and mine is beginning about to unfold, only with doubts and denials as I'm very confused and not much of a risk-taker. Time and place shall take its lead. I'll just go with the flow, somehow. (:

I could swear I nearly died laughing throughout the whole day yesterday. NAFA with Zaki and Amsyar was, erm, unexplainable I shall say. Although I had to fight and endure the overwhelming pains that never subside (thanks to Mr Migraine), I still felt contented having been lost in their superficial humour world.

And I'm proud to say I was the PIMP. Only Amran joined us much later by the time I had to bid my farewell. Sheesh.

I don't feel like doing the 20 pieces of assignments just yet. Gah!

Rain rain go away, come again another day.
(I hope Snow White won't be wearing those slippery flip-flops to RE later and I despise Snow Munk for not coming. HMPH!)

hanisyra.

2008-01-29T15:40:00.000+08:00

i am very very very fortunate that there's no school today. i'm hogging in front of the computer since breakfast whereas Tiq has to snuggle books and boring teachers. HAHA!

i've planned to complete my never-finish homeworks and mugging from morning to afternoon, and head out to library to drop off some books. but but but, i ended up blog-shopping since breakfast till now (and did a little of my coursework). told ya, i am very very very bad at prioritizing my time.

anyhoots, yesterday was crazy. right after school has ended, i dashed out from the school and head down to Bugis Junction to meet Izzy at work. while waiting for her to finish at 5pm, i took strolls around the Bugis area. I walked endlessly till i realised i was already at Raffles City. I continued walking and the next thing i realised, i was at Marina Square. Then at Esplanade. Then at the Singapore River (where a mat-saleh kudos-ed me [because he said i have a talent in photography] when he asked for help to take a picture of him with the background of the skyscrapers). And damn, i've been walking around the town for nothing and worst, in my school uniform. that sucks. After feeling tired and dizzy, i took the bus home WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT IZZY. That suck even worst! Oh, what a day!

i wasn't one bit unhappy when a lady texted me last night. the words chosen seemed to sound a little sarcastic and i totally can't tolerate sarcasm when i'm being nice/helping someone. the next few texts suck. now i feel damn very sorry for her. to Ms Victimised, i am very very very sorry. and to her boyfriend, let's just forget about this and pretend we never knew each other. ):

also, i'd like to thank my classmates for being very nice to me for the past few days. i really really really appreciate all that. and i'm thankful to a fellow classmate of mine for telling me his problems and that really opened my eyes and made me realise how cruel life is and that i should be thankful.

hanisyra.

a ruined saturday

2008-01-26T16:16:00.000+08:00

how terrible can my saturday morning be?

i was on the way to tuition class in the morning when a little girl puked right in front of me. it was fortunate that she puked into a small plastic bag. Thank God.

upon reaching the entrance, the security guard was quite dumb i must say to lock the gates when we, the latecomers, were a few steps before we entered the school premises. well, i was late for 5 minutes ONLY and.... it's okay i don't think i'd like to say what happened next.

and and and HE was there. in the same class as me. oh my oh my.... (Val, dont worry. it's not him. it's another HIM.)

after class has ended, i planned to meet a cybermate so he can passed me the NP bag i was begging for. i waited for the bus for what seemed like forever. when i boarded the bus and moved to the rear, there was a pungent smell. i felt like vomiting that instant. i looked up and around. almost everyone was covering their nostrils and mouths. AGAIN, it was something about PUKES. there was puke trails all over the bus floor and steps.

AND I BOARDED ON THE SAME BUS WHEN I WAS ON THE WAY TO CLASS.

that was too much. to ruin my saturday. )':

get busy

2008-01-24T14:49:00.000+08:00

i am not very sure how many times i've apologised for going on hiatus without leaving a note. as usual, my reason would be I'M BUSY.

yes i truly am very busy nowadays.

unlike everyone, i'm schooling 7 days in a week and i'm working 3 days a week. what's more to say that i'm sitting for the major exam in history (so far) that is, the Cambridge O levels exams in 4 months and 9 months time. apart from that, i still have assignment that are never-endingly piling up and the coursework.

life is too busy for me i can't be on the list of "LET'S FIND A NEW BOYFRIEND". it's a pity, i know, but i can't deny the fact that i just don't have any feelings or desires to be attached. the feeling is just not there yet. to Mr Whoever, i'm very sorry coz well i've been letting you guys down.

on a brighter side of note, i just came back from a 2-day camp. being the facilitator for the S2 camp, i was more than happy to share happy moments with this lovely class, 2M3. way to go, darlings! FYI, i saw Mr President's house and i know where he lives!

these kids were too honest. they talked in front of us instead of behind our back!

ignore my slenger face la. i didn't manage to get enough rest can!

the peranakans houses.

we visited 4 minorities groups places in singapore; the Sikh temple, the Eurasian Association club, Arab St (as usual) and the peranakans houses.

time for precious sleep now. (:

hanisyra.

immature brats

2008-01-11T20:27:00.000+08:00

"eh kau perna isap rokok tak?"
*SILENCE*
"aku perna. kakak sedare aku kasi aku. ishkkk sedap giler. dier kasi aku sampoerna. tapi that time aku baru je K1."
*SILENCE*
"eh kau da dengar lagu My Heart tak? macam sedap sey. *if you love somebody will you....*" (started singing loudly)

That was a conversation i overheard when i took the bus home from school. It belongs to a pair of most likely Primary 1 or 2 students from a neighbourhood school somewhere in the north. At first I got pretty annoyed that they were speaking pretty loud and something like what, bragging? Oh please, you guys are only Primary what, One? Stop acting like one big fool la. What suprise-me-not most was when the more-action kid bobal world la beb. Bobal pasal rokok. Step maner nye besar tah la budak2 zaman skrg ni. Haiyo ape nak jadi... Nak salahkan mak bapak? Dah terlambat pun agaknyer...

Okay that's negative. Hah!

Basically school was just like any other day. Started off with a TEST (goddammit) of Food & Nutrition and I was a little pissed off during the next period of another subject where I handed out a letter that was written by my parent informing that I won't be able to turn up for a compulsory activity during the weekend. As I was handing out the letter to the you-know-who, I mentioned I won't be able to make it for today's training (HOW WONDERFOOL!) due to a family matter that I'd need to attend to. (And excuse me IDIOTS AND STUPID FOOLS, family matter does not mean FAMILY PROBLEM YOU DUMB ASS. Check the dictionary in your jubo dammit.) You-know-who annoyed me by asking "what is the matter about?" and I replied, "It's personal." and she insisted on knowing further, "so what's the personal thing?" and I replied, "It's just personal. I can't tell you. It's PERSONAL!" Right at that moment I felt like punching her tits to make it as flat as possible and kick her arse. BUT I DIDN'T. DAMN.

There was someone's birthday today. Hope she's feeling happy especially with her great friends around her.

Yknow sometimes we just expect too much but we're also disappointed when it just didn't turn out what you're expecting. However it'd be more depressing (and depressing is just NOT ABOUT BEING EMOSHIT YOU ASSHOLE) when there's someone behind everything or there's a third party who just encourage you to well, i just can't type it out here. Yelah nanti aku type kat sini orang lain fikir AKU JAHAT PER. AKU SUKER BOBAL BURUK PASAL ORANG. AKU KUTUK2 ORANG. TAPI PADAHAL NI SUME KENYATAAN NENEK MOYANG KORANG LA SEY. APESAL LA MANUSIA2 NI SUME ASYIK MENGGANGGAP DAN MEMBUAT PENILAIAN PALSU? OIIIII KAU FIKIR KAU TU BAGUS SANGAT KE PE? (haha that was the reaction given by CT when I told her my problems. I was laughing sampai perutku rasa macam nak terburai tau!)

Anyhoots I'm beginning to like Accounts class. So bitches I hope you'd plan many great days to pull me down and hate the class just because I like the class. Nevermind if you don't get it but I do. (:

AND AND AND I SO LOVE my F&N teacher la sayang. Alah, Amirul nye form teacher. Tau tau la siape tu.... (((:

Huday and me had planned to go NYP this afternoon but cancelled at the very last minute coz something cropped out. CCA Open House sucks la okay! Most likely we're heading down to NYP and TP after my class tomorrow.

Have I mentioned I was frustrated that I'm transferred to another school for Saturday classes? Yucks, I hate this la. Long story la beb. Hope it'd be good as good as in the previous school. What sad me the most is the fact that I won't be able to make 'winking-eyes' at the uber cute eye-candy, like how I did last year. Heheh. Mak bapak suruh korang gi sekolah korang main kenyit-kenyit mater ehk. I was complaining and grumbling and Mommy was being extra charming to get my school changed. Without noticing it, I've been a spoilt brat this week. Heheh. Alah sekali sekala takper la. Tapi jangan ada orang cemburuuuuu sua.

My weekends would be fully booked. No more partying with The Best of Five as often as I used to. Menyedihkan la... Miss Gorgeous invited me to the carnival on Sunday morning and I'll be having Sunday classes in the afternoon and that would be super fun coz I'll be meeting QASRINA BABY!!!!

Oh speaking of her I just went to her blog and I agreed with her about the school-boredom/hatred issue plus what's with the annoying brats yang tak-boleh-tak-tau-hal-orang-dan-mesti-kaypoh people. Aiyah these kind of bitches are just unhappy we're living a great life. Yeah lor, unlike them, we're UNIQUE. READ MY LIPS- WE'RE UNIQUE.

So baby Qasrina, don't be sad coz I'm always here baybeh! (((:

Three cheers for the long random entry today. Night morons!

sunday classes

2008-01-06T19:24:00.000+08:00

who says madrasah is boring and sucks big time?

i was least (un)happy that i had gotten the afternoon session; 1.45pm to 4.45pm for Sunday classes. i had always been in the morning session since sec one and i'm not used to the afternoon session. i grumbled to mom and friends, "do i still have to go? i'd like to change." however, i changed my opinion of transferring to the morning session once i stepped into the mosque when happy faces greeted me with broad smiles and we exchanged glances and names (and classes). it was such a fortunate thing that i met everyone by chance and i love my new classmate, Qasrina, whose name i always thought was Qistina. don't ask me why. The lovely teachers allured my attention that i was there by chance. I am thankful for I am lucky that I had gotten the priviledge to attend the classes. It's not like everyone has the same fortune as I do. The stories told had made my day and definitely had drawn my interest to learn more about the religion and hereafter.

So why do people or rather should I say adolescence feel ashamed/embarrassed/lazy to attend those classes? Living in this new era where people always think that "oh he/she goes to religious classes but why is his/her attitude is like...." or "aiyah he/she wants to act good go religious classes like this....", the victims usually felt embarrassed to go religious classes. Well maybe not for me coz I find it really important for you to learn about the religion in a deeper, meaningful way and hereafter. So what if you actually wear the head scarf and pray 5 times a day when you don't know what Islam is all about. So what if you appear good on the outside but inside you're just a rotten lava.

Everytime I come back from the classes, I'd feel secured and find a need to actually repent over what mistakes I've done before it's too late. I love this Sirah classes where you'd learn what happened in the past, the oppurtunity to read the holy Quran & know the stories behind it (it'd be like when you were back then where mommy or daddy would read you bedtime stories) and the fact that I really want to smell the Eden coz the scent of it is one zillion times better than the Dolce & Gabbana fragrances you spritz every day and yes, I'd like to have a look of how gorgeous Rasulullah is and melt before him.

Plus with the fact that I THINK I saw an eye-candy today? HAHA!

hanisyra.

saturdays

2008-01-05T22:02:00.000+08:00

Saturdays; it always reminds me of The Best of Five- Darren, Matt, CT & Alysa. During the holidays we would always be hanging out at towns, talking and debating over coffees and lattes at Starbucks. I miss them alot since school has started. I won't be meeting them as often as I did last year coz I'd be schooling seven days in a week.

People are very judgemental.

They might seem like wild hippies, hanging out in those clothes and piercings everything. But have you ever once judge people by their inner beauty?

I once discussed this HOT topic with CT about ladies wearing tudungs and not wearing tudungs. We came to an agreement that NOT ALL LADIES WHO WEAR TUDUNGS ARE GOOD PEOPLE. They could have been worst than those who club at nights. On the outside they may seem nice, polite and always gain people's respect and trust but you would never know they actually may have a rotten, smelly heart and seeks oppurtunity to disgrace the people they despised. However, looking back at those people who don't wear tudungs and may have tattoos/piercings etc on their bodies, they are actually FAR BETTER than those wearing tudungs. Don't you agree? Well see it for yourself one day.

I'm not discriminating the ladies who wear tudungs but it's just a gentle reminder that PLEASE HAVE A CLEAN HEART if you're one of them. That's part of the reason why I'm still not ready to wear one yet.

Oh wait I'm not saying that I don't have a clean heart but well I'm not ready coz I need to change some parts of me. Ah, you've been just told that what, I'M A BITCH WHO BAD-MOUTH PEOPLE RIGHT? oh wells you're under-estimating people, don't you? Be careful of your words, darling, or you'd be thrown into the Hades. I'm not that bad as you think, actually.

GET TO KNOW THE REAL ME FIRST BEFORE MAKING ANY FALSE STATEMENTS, SELFISH PEOPLE.

So once again I'm thankful to have The Best of Five coz they really boost my confidence and strength. I can't wait for next week's party! And pretty soon I'll be having late-night studying parties with them. They're real genius, I tell you!

hanisyra.

LIMELIGHT

2008-01-04T18:23:00.000+08:00

Then,
Laughter and jokes have been the best companion
Thru the days of evangelism
So true, white and pure.

Slowly,
Dark spots began to form
As it was left in the rain
Holding, waiting
When the lightning struck.

Now,
From white to black,
From love to hatred,
As memories turn to ashes
With the words that crushes
Of every souls.

I could never be thankful enough to have such great companions like Tiq, Huda, Izzati and Amsyar. They're what you call TRUE FRIENDS coz they're always there in good and bad times.

We had Show&Tell with the form class and everyone was supposed to bring something significant. The night before, a bright Friday night, I couldn't sleep after I had my late afternoon nap due to the doses of naproxen i took before going to bed. From 8pm till now, I haven't managed to get some rest. You must be wondering what the hell i was doing up in the wee hours, right? Well truthfully, i weeped and sobbed and cried like a little kid. I have no idea why I missed my best companion, sister, twin, cousin, bestfriend soooooo much. My instincts told me she was in my room, sitting next to me as I weeped. I missed her just so much. I know she was sharing the same tears as I did but Allah loves her more than we do.

Something popped out in my mind what I'd do for my Show&Tell. I took out the old drawing block once belonged to my brother when he was 8. Pieces of newspaper articles, the front page of Malaysia & Singapore's favourite newspapers, was Liana Farahin. Then I took out the photo albums from my childhood days and took out those memorable photos of the moments we shared.

She was 6 days older than me. I could have been older than her by a month but because I loved Mom so much I didn't want to go out of her womb. Yes I'm an overmatured baby- 10 months. We shared the same cot together, birthday cakes, dresses, dreams and everything twin sisters would share. However Allah loves her more. She was killed- stabbed to death- by a mentally disabled man who managed to escape from the mental hospital. She died on the way to the hospital. And she was only FOUR.

I hadn't planned to shed tears in front of the class but it was just too sensitive for me. I was a strong nut-head person but everyone has feelings and emotions. Before I could begin, I had tears streaming out of my eyes and Mdm Ng thought I had lost my voice again today. It was hard. Yes it was really hard to stand in front of 34 people telling a sensitive, emotionally-painful childhood story with tears flowing down my cheeks. However I was really really appalled that my classmates had given their respect not to say anything until I finished everything. Classmates, if you're reading this, I'm very thankful and appreciate that although it was just something simple and little. Thank you very much for listening and understanding. ((:

The headlines. You could have guessed.

Mom always said I'm the bad one and she always gave in to me & a very patient sister.

She was fat-ter & blur-er than me. HAHA!

The day we shared our birthday cake together when we turned 3.

Side track: Bro & me with "our friends".

Who is CUTER? i know it's MEEEEE!

Liana Farahin; she had been a great inspiration & motivator for me. Although she is no longer to be found in the world, she has left me a bag full of courage and determination to face the cruel world. That's why I'm here, standing tall and proud with courage and determination, to face another cruelty made on purpose by SOMEONE IRRESPONSIBLE for the emotional damages she's been causing specially for me.

Today was is the first saddest day of 2008. Rest in peace, dear twin sister.

hanisyra.

PUZZLES - a lost identity

2008-01-03T23:17:00.000+08:00

Up on the cupboard
Collecting dust
Brought down for might be the last time
Solving and matching the pieces together again
For another mime.

The arousing feeling and conflicts led to disappointment and jealousy of love that was given and taken and past to another person. A painful secret yet untold, let out by the cat in the bag; everyone hurts and gets satisfaction for having to pull someone down with her own disgrace. Someone was to be blamed for what was told thou with an intention that's so true and pure not to see another melted and dumped by irresponsible yet act uncowardly individuals. It's easy to say and made assumptions but never would it be easy to fathom. It's a cruel world, as to what I was told. Play serious, play real.

hanisyra.

first day of school of the last year

2008-01-02T21:10:00.000+08:00

I was too excited to meet new friends and start everything all over again that I couldn't shut my eyes the night before.

I've jumpstarted my heart and cleanse my mind with a bottle of Bleach.

I'm sorry if I stole your limelight with fortuity. I didn't manage to flatter you as I did to others- or was it just because your egotism is as hard as the shell of pistachio? And the fact that you're turning green- with envy?

Dear Tiq,

As days, months and years went by
You never failed to make me smile, laugh, talk and shed tears of joy
You gave me confidence, courage and determined soul
I shall thank you for all that you've done
For I can never find a soul like you.

AND THANKS FOR DOING MY MATH HOLIDAY ASSIGNMENT although I know you were freezing in the library cafeteria with me. HAHAHA!

hanisyra.

2008-01-01T00:33:00.000+08:00

It was something sad, really. I had to spend the new year eve and new year in the bed under the duvet. All thanks to the colds and fever i've been having eversince last Sunday. It's also something sad that I couldn't party and enjoy myself dancing and erm..... well with the gang. Yes, i miss Darren, CT, Matt and Alysa like HELL!

So New Year Resolution it shall be for this entry. (:
oh yeah, i was tagged by ehem someone for this quiz.

Q1. List 5 new year resolutions.

1)MUG MUG MUG!
2) Good relationships with family & friends.
3) Be active in sports (JOGGING & SWIMMING here i comeeeeeeeeeee!) & eat healthy food. (:
4) More shopping spress (and save $$) & late-night studying parties!
5) Find a good boyf. Maybe? SHRUGS.

Q2. The most biggest event in 2008.
GCE O LEVEL!!!

Q3. What are you looking forward to in 2008?
Prom Nite. (only if there is and the theme won't be Casual where the graduates wore denim to Prom Nite. TSK!)

Q4. What will you be spending on most with your savings?
Dresses & Tunics!!! (ok plus traveling too! teehee!)

Anyways I didn't have an update on Hari Raya Haji but well I'm proud to say that I was the "Perempuan Melayu Terakhir" at the Changi Airport wearing the Malay traditional costume with head scarf, sending my step-granddaddy & step-grandmummy off to perform their pilgrimage. And I'd like to introduce my step-sister who had slept with me (and peed on my oh-so-comfy bed and I GOT THE BLAME!) for 2 years before she went off staying with the mother.

NNS (no it's not the news production etc!)
Nur Nilam Sari- yes a nice name. ((:

kiter sisters la beb..

anyhoots,
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

hanisyra.

2007-11-26T17:49:00.000+08:00

i'm just forgetting something... on PURPOSE....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AZYAN KU SAYANG!!!!!

Birthday message to Azyan sayang;
"It's been 5 years of a close-knitted friendship and twice of it we've exchanged presents for each other. However, I'd like, however best I'd try, to make this year's birthday a meaningful one for you. You do know how much I love and miss you. With hopes and dreams, we would be able to fly and catch our dreams- and never once shattered them. To you Azyan IzdiHArNI, i love you and may our friendship last till eternity. Once again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY AZYAN. (:"

P.S. siap kau kalau kau tak baca ni. mentang-mentang aku jarang update... HAHA! (:

okay. i'm going towning with DARLINGS and Iz has promised a dinner treat for me, and i'm left with less than an hour to get ready yet i don't know what i shall wear. decision decision...

hanisyra.

2007-11-26T16:27:00.000+08:00

i'm still down with flu, fever and a very bad sore throat so i'm not going to work today. i'm lucky. why? coz i don't have to see that 'guy'. haha yes that guy who always asks me out to lunch and dinner.

there's pretty much things on my mind right now.

first, i'm least (un)happy to see that some people are just so blinded by love they didn't realise how much their love partner really loves them. i was just being an unfortunate heroin here coz i just happened to have a great boy friend whose girlfriend always jumps over to conclusion and thinks negative things about us. it's a sad reality she couldn't accept the fact that we're just merely friends.

second, i'm least (un)happy to see some people are just very very very unappreciative with what they've gotten for themselves; a decent life, a great family, a bunch of supportive friends and a loyal (ok, not-so-loyal) boyfriend. i was just blog-hopping when i came across to this particular blog which i find that there's pretty much 'unfairness' things being portrayed there. you know, sometimes bloggers love to rate their friends (an example: Mr ABC <333333. Ms DEF <3.). It's totally a sad thing because you're being prejudice here. it's true "As paradoxical as it may sound, there's never fairness and equality." to me, rating is just no good.

third, i'm least (un)happy to see more and more people are not being themselves. in other words; unoriginal or artificial. they copy others for fame. it's real stupid. i wonder when they can actually go out from their shell and receive benefits of their own. i used to have this good friend and she always seemed to copy the words i use or the way i speak/write. it IS sad.

fourth, i'm least (un)happy to see most of the people are afraid to admit defeat of their own mistakes they've committed. why do people have BIG egos? it's a simple thing to just forgive and forget but they're making it difficult for themselves as well as others.

fifth, i'm least (un)happy to hear that many people are proned to listen to only one party. yes, it's what you call PREJUDICE. i really hate prejudice can. listen to both parties only then you will know the truth/true story.

people, when are you going to grow tired having to live in this kind of situation? most people respect highly to the people who are just being themselves. just be yourself and have your own confidence. you'll always be trapped and thrown if you continue being like others. God makes everyone of us special. make full use of it. by the way, can't you see that the world or rather should i say the Earth is falling apart?

there's little time, believe me.

hanisyra.

2007-11-25T14:03:00.000+08:00

yesterday was all about FOOD. yes, food. don't you all like food? (:

i spent the whole day outside in the East-district with the AUNTIES just in search of a very nice Ayam Penyet Rice and more about other food too. While the AUNTIES went for retail therapy, i went on a "book-searching therapy". i'm not exactly a bookworm but i was looking for this really important book i need to read up for today's exam. after about 1545616 book shops i've searched, i finally made a call to this guy to ask about the book. i should have made the call first before going for the book hunting, i tell you, coz the guy said, "i'm sorry i know you guys are all searching for the book for the EOY exam but unfortunately, there's no more stock. you will have to wait till next year." little did i expected, i WASN'T disappointed at all. hah.

most of the time, i like to be all alone. so after the book hunting was done, i went for a fragrances-hunting. i was much attracted to this frangrances that have cartoon characters like Mickey Mouse, Cinderella, Mermaid & Batman motives. i have no idea if i was actually attracted to either the smell of the perfumes or the cartoon characters' motives. HAHA.

AUNTIES were deciding to stop by at Swensens or Gelare again for dessert before we head home but Dad called for dinner.

(I'm sorry Yan I was supposed to call you last evening as promised.)

Then we head down to Mad Jack Cafe. A pretty nice place and orang kiter yang majukan lah. Kiter bangga tau awak! (:

so creatures, do visit Mad Jack Cafe okay!

and i main hentam sajalah today's exam. (((: and i'm happy about that. and Mom congratulated me too that i actually screwed up the paper (in a sarcastic way, of coz).

i'm feeling damn sickish now. i hate my voice especially when i talked to Dayak just now. i sound just like E.T. heh.

hanisyra.

2007-11-23T16:12:00.000+08:00

yes creatures, i caught you 587578679 browsing my blog at the moment and you must be wondering why new entries keep popping out every 3 minutes or so.

as you know me, i'm a lazy bump. i did update my blog but i didn't publish. so here i am, publishing them. ((:

and i'm not 'backorder' the entries okeh! citer da basi oiii. HAHA.

hanisyra.

2007-11-23T12:59:00.000+08:00

it's a happy happy day for me today.

1) i woke up in an empty house (it equals to FREEDOM coz i've got something to do ALONE)
2) i finally found an interesting yet simple layout for my blog (after soooo long).
3) i caught Jannah viewing my profile. she added me and even featured me! how lucky i am!
4) i feel very happy for my ex-boyf for his happiness he shared with his current girlfriend.
5) Ryan and i were talking trash last night and i can foresee that it'd be continued today. (:
6) I'm doing 11 special things today for the peeps who were victimised by me.
7) thank God its friday (equals to NO work) and i can study for sunday's exam.
8) i'm feeling excited of creating a blogshop (but i'm looking for a victim to be my biz partner).
9) there's an engagement party tonight.
10) its friday today- DARLINGS; we're celebrating!!!

yeah baby yeahhhhh...!

hanisyra.

2007-11-19T09:00:00.000+08:00

i feel real bad and sorry for the peeps who were victimised by me. i realised i've done so much hurt and damage to them, things were (or ARE) falling apart and i feel the emptiness beneath me. what could i do? i was just about to repend when someone who might seem mighty hat me hard i started to grow a big enormous ego with a magnetic force that always repels to my needs- and to whom i was. then.

i realise i can't have these going on and on. after so much hatred and hurt that've gone. i can't be allowing peeps to push me around. afterall this is my life. i've got the right to have things my way. all these while i've been enclosed and trapped in darkness which is full of emptiness leading me to insecurities and i couldn't open my eyes big enough to see what's right and wrong, what's beautiful & what's ugly.

i don't want to let anyone down. what i'm doing is for the best of all. i'm walking to the edge, no not the end edge, but to the center edge and succumb things from there.

what i need now is LOVE.
hope you'll appreciate. (:

hanisyra.

2007-11-15T20:12:00.000+08:00

today was the last day of the course. today was also the examination of the course. i screwed up and submitted 17 PDF files but we had a good 'crack' about it anyways. (:

since the course ended earlier than we expected and Huday & me didn't feel like going home straight, we headed down to town. Huday was busy busy looking and buying hair barrettes and i was busy busy cuci mater. Huday kept saying "typical you having blablabla..." but that didn't annoy me the most.

currently i'm in love with vintage stuff and i found victoria secrets (once i bought it online and never thought it would be sold in this country. how stupid.) and i fell truly in love with this lovely Anna Sui vintage purse. but it was a sad thing i was cashless and i couldn't use my Visa card yet. dammit. and and and i managed to get a hold of many pairs of KEDS in my bare hands!!!!

yes yes yes i love KEDS. ((((:
maybe i shall include that in my craving list. hmm...

hanisyra.

2007-11-13T15:33:00.000+08:00

i'm in the school computer lab attending MYOB computerised accounting course. yes, accounting. why? shocked? HAHA!

and i'm dealing with a very very very extremely bad migraine (yet i still jump around like kangaroos). and i need a hug coz i'm cold. (:

(And there's Cheena mat saleh celup sitting next to me now.)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
they say laughter's the best medicine.

hanisyra.

2007-11-11T14:06:00.000+08:00

i've been selfish all this while. i'm real mad with myself. i missed my bestfriend's birthday.
i'm a bad bad bad bestfriend. i'm sorry Tiq. )':

anyhoots,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIQ!!!

P.S.: i've got a haircut! (((:

hanisyra.

kill me.

2007-11-01T18:13:00.000+08:00

i just finished watching some weird videos on the Internet and reading lame-st gossips about the Hollywood. i've never really done that before but i just felt like doing it suddenly.

crash me. i'm kinda bored now, and nothing entertains me well. not even online shopping. hurhhhhs.

parents are currently on the business-housing overseas trip and bro's stucked with his Nice Shyt; and i'm alooooooooooooone at home. boo!

i tried to get myself busy by going to the library and borrow the recipes books there. Huday knows why. (: and i hope she won't be mad that i'd actually borrowed two books under her membership card. huhu. (x

well well well... BOREDOM KILLS. hehs.

hanisyra.

2007-10-25T18:38:00.000+08:00

Report book's OUTTTTTTT! and I'm going crazy already.

You know it well, I've done pretty bad and I've vowed I shall not enjoy the two-month vacation and I shall be a geek.

mug mug mug. )':

hanisyra.

life's too short to be sad

2007-10-23T20:23:00.000+08:00

thank God, the misunderstanding and rows have finally came to an now and we're starting it fresh and anew all over again. just hoping everyone's sincere and willing to accept one another's strengths and weaknesses without looking down/critisizing on someone.

anyway, i seriously don't fathom this. i wonder if he's green with envy or what till that made him to blow his top off unreasonably. tsk, i need a break.

can someone please pass me a Kit Kat?

hanisyra.

a typical day in school

2007-08-23T18:05:00.000+08:00

the day didn't started off well. i was overslept and i managed to get less than 2 hours of sleep. i woke up at 6.45am and then i remembered i had to do the Pledge. So I ended up doing 5 minutes of Jumping Jack (i tell you, it's not fun okeh!) and had to serve detention for 2 hours in the afternoon.

Chemistry test wasn't that bad afterall. I think I'd do better for this test. Hoho. (x

Right then, went for detention. I didn't expect detention would be fun. So yeaps, it wasn't that bad afterall. Well that's because first, i managed to complete half of Mrs T's assignments eversince she takes over Ms W for English class and I have NEVER done her works and second, there's two Chinese guys sitting beside me and they're cute and they entertained me pretty well. Haha!

And I kept thinking today was Wednesday. Therefore, I missed my yoghurt! Boo!
And hell yeah, Justin's treating me to Hairspray next week!! (:

Anyhoots, I better do some research on meningitis now. There's seriously something's wrong with my spinal cord and backbone. Whatever it is, it's damn hurting me like hell. I think I'm catching arthritis or maybe meningitis with the on/off high fever and black-outs.

So now, let me rest in peace. I'm having sleep debts okay!

hanisyra.

hello for starters.

2007-08-23T04:15:00.000+08:00

it's 4.10am on a Thursday morning. i've been hogging in front of the computer ever since i woke up at 7pm. i didn't do much actually. in fact, the whole night was busy with phone calls from many different beings. one more time i'm going to receive a phone call from the bank, i'm gonna burst, seriously. Iqmal knows the story, aight. Huhu! (x

i haven't completed my FNN coursework yet. i promised Mdm F to submit by Thursday morning but she gave Friday the latest to submit. There'll be Chemistry test later in the afternoon and i haven't even studied yet. I've been missing myself from many classes and dammit, it's Chemistry; i suck alot in that subject. The recent test we've gotten back I had the lowest score in my life. Four and a half out of well, urm 35. Imagine that! Gosh! Seriously, I've been slacking in studies alot. Mdm M said that too. Boo!

I feel a great sense of satisfaction. Finally after months, I managed to change the damn blog layout. Although it looks pretty suck, I can't be bothered. Think i have the time? Oh puh-lease. Now i needa change the damn font for the links. Hate those highlights. Oh whatever.

Anyways thinking back, I shall just put an end here. I cannot be bothered anymore. Life is short, I'm going to enjoy it. If they want it this way, let it be. Hope someone would understand, admit her mistake and learn from it. Tsk, sometimes i pity this kind of people. A lil' melodramatic, isn't it? Haha!

If you know me well, I tend to forgive and forget most of the time. So great day ahead people! (:

Waiiiit, not so fast. I'll end this entry with a survey tagged by Azyan sayang. Huhu!

THE WEIRD GAME
Rules of the game:
Each player of this game starts off with ten weird things or habits or little known facts about themselves. People who get tagged must write in their blog of their own ten weird things or habits or little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end of it, you must choose six people and list out their names. And please, no tagging back on me. (:

1. I like scratching my hair. However you do that, that's uniquely me. (:
2. I tend to panic and shout and curse when I'm in loss or in denial.
3. I spend almost 80% of the day pulling my hair. I don't know why I have this habit. Lol!
4. I'd stand in front of the bathroom mirror and say, "Gosh, I look sexay with my out-of-bed hairstyle!".
5. I have a belief that my Adidas body spray makes my day and some sort-of a lucky charm.
6. I tried standing when peeing. (do you know my sex? hahaha!)
7. I like to do somersault till i'm catching arthritis again.
8. I've been going out with my bestfriends' boyfriends alot recently. (Tell me if you believe this.)
9. I once thought Redbull was an alcoholic drink.
10. I go around the house NAKED! (NEVER, you dumb dumb)

You're tagged! Sorry mates. :)
1. shamyah
2. natasha
3. fadaria
4. izzati
5. valerie
6. anyone interested in doing the 'weird' survey.

okay. i'll like to soak myself in bath tub now and play bubbles and rubber ducky. (x

hanisyra.

harsh sentences.

2007-08-22T23:34:00.000+08:00

To Whom It May Concern,

wake up. it's never good to stand on one side. where's the justice and equality? you only heard half of the story. what about the other half? don't you ever tried to put yourself in their shoes? have you ever thought how they'd feel, how hurt they are, how much they want you to be by your side in good and bad times? have you ever wondered how good you are as a friend?

i bet you did.

stop pretending. it's not cool, i tell you. it just suck alot hokay. you think by saying all these might influence others? well not for me. i understand who you are. i know you're taking sweet revenges as we go along although you might not realise that yourself. but i do realise that, Ms Hypocrite.

stop being a hypocrite. it was all a sad story from the beginnning. am i right to say that? correct me if i'm wrong. i'd like to admit my mistakes. thank you.

you felt left out earlier. a bunch of jealousy swept through you and you'd like to take your revenge, without realising it. now that she has left, you felt happier. you thought she belongs to you. whole. shortly after that, the group became bigger and larger, filled with laughter and joy and intimacy. however along the way, she felt left out. she's growing up, can't you see that? she's trying to get some exposure to the other world but she's trapped in your oh-mummy-i'm-still-a-kid group of friends. she needed a loving and trustworthy companion but no one seemed to understand. she started pouring out her sorrows in her lil' bloggy and you came complaining. you started to betray her. you influence me-and the others- to think just like the way you view her from your own perspective. you're trying to control everybody's mind to follow just like yours. you're becoming the next oh-so-gorgeous Queen Bee. they're immuned to your speech. they believed you whole. but did they have any chance to fully understand why? NO! Why? Because you came corrupting and influencing them. how can that happen? because we all knew you're a very quiet kid. although you might seem to be a quiet lunatic, have you ever realised you've got an acid-tongue? you'd ask a person who happen to be your next victim of which you notice and analyse his/her character that seems to be somewhat wrong, a question that is meant to be reflected on that person instead of an answer for yourself. stop acting like you look sooo purfect. stop being a hypocrite. we know you're a low-profile type of person and no one would believe you're gossiping and back-stabbing. but i do. why? cuz i'm beginning to be one of your victims too. what kind of friend are you? i think i regret meeting you in the first place. do you know, because of you, you and yourself, things are falling apart? hey Hypocrite, stop pretending and admit it. don't be a coward, asshole.

it's unfair if you're going to be on one side when you knew no better. have you tried putting yourself in her and our shoes? have you? have you thought how much damaged and hurt you've done to others? have you ever thought of US, for goodness sake? do you know you're leaving people out? do you and have you??? tell me.

i thought when i said those words last week, the situation would be better. our friendships would be greater. look at it now, the atmosphere is tense and everybody's turning their back against one another. what's happening to the world now? oh dear!

it's time to grow up, kids. tsk.

if her words are hurtful for you, think mine's worst. don't you think so, lunatics?
well, let's leave what's past. get a new life, dammit.

i think i'd need to watch Mean Girls again. all those about back-stabbing and lying and i can learn from it and apply it in here. hahahaha!

Moral of the story: Don't be a hypocrite because of jealousy. Huhu. (x

hanisyra.

2007-08-22T02:47:00.000+08:00

i miss blogging. alot. so, where did i last stop?

omigod, my blog seems so sucky. the layout is still the same, screw Blogger. how am i able to change it when it doesn't allow me to. how am i able to create my own layout when the damn Vista premium couldn't take the risk of me downloading Adobe, Frontpage or Dreamweaver. and how on earth would i be able if i have school 7 days in a week. God!

many had happened but i can't pour it out all here. you're crazy?? aha! so wells, pictures depict alot, aight? yeaps. so in an instant, photos would be uploaded. (:

anyhoots, the musical King & I last Saturday was great. I'm going for another musical or maybe dance with Moo and I'm allowing him to choose. A treat. Huhu.

and well, have i mentioned being single can be pretty, well urm suck sometimes? haha yes. i'm seeing four guys and i don't know, urm, the 'end result'. but going on a relationship will never going to happen in few months to come. why? ask me. haha! what Rachel said the other was pretty true; "we tend to treat them more like a friend but somehow we usually treat them not more than a boyfriend." don't you agree, my monyets? lol.

and i love Tiq sayang! booo! (:

hanisyra.

2007-08-11T17:55:00.000+08:00

it seems like my blog's dead.
so is my Friendster and MySpace.
so are the rest of the accounts i've signed up before.
God, i must start to work my arse out now.

well, can't blame it, i'm just plain lazy.
and screw Blogger, it just shucks the hell out of here.
boo!

i'm out.

xoxo,
hanisyra.

2007-07-18T00:45:00.000+08:00

the thoughts that have been shooting through my mind, the tons of works that's been piling up, the emotional downs that have brought me down, the excitement and anxiety that i've been keeping to myself.

that explains my long absence. it's not that i forget or forgotten, it's what you call; life.

i'm starting my life back on track on a new beginning after so much fairytales i've dreamt of. this time, i'm starting it anew with loving family and friends.

i realised something. i've been looking through the history and mistakes i've committed. i feel there's a lost in me somehow, and i have regrets. regrets for myself. i keep denying things and force myself into something i don't have any interest in. i don't quite the feeling actually.

i wasn't ready for a relationship but i couldn't afford to let him wait long, and missing the opportunity. i didn't want to break another piece. i might as well get myself hurt rather than him coz he's plain innocent. just so nonchalant. i forced myself real hard to have the feelings when i didn't even have it. i did sound i really cared but wells, it's just another pretence. oh wells, sometimes we just have to be a lil melodramatic, right? oh whatever.

now that i'm back on track, i'm missing alot of things. i lose control of myself, i miss schools alot lately, i miss the affection of friends and i just miss everything. i feel very very fatigue nowadays and thanks to the bloody drugs (or maybe the fact that my body ain't producing enough haemoglobin and myoglobin). just a few days ago, i woke up with purple rashes all over my body and i couldn't really recall what actually happened. the wheals on my arms, legs and everywhere else were just so disgusting, i felt frustrated with myself. i had to rush to the clinic and the doctor prescribed me with Atarax and dammit, i'm allergic to it and it just worsen my condition and i had to rush to the doctor again to get some vaccines nonsense-shit; and the darn Math teacher was giving a hard time for us i couldn't help but to swear right in her face. i was totally pissed off with the teachers today.

i think i'm going to contract anaemia anytime soon, man. it's like, really, i'm losing lots of blood and the doctor said i'm a having a low-blood pressure and what shit of HIVES. bloody hell, i dont give a shit.

oh, i'm not complaining.... haha!

anyways, loyal friends have been keeping me updated and i'm pretty appalled to hear the sad stories of how things turned upside down. i just hope things would run smoothly, and i'm sorry i wasn't there to help out.

oh yeahs, the RCY committee board 07 has came out already. have i told you, the new Vice-Chairmans just suck alot? haha yeah, they suck babeh. one is so temperamental she would always bring other issues not pertaining with the current one, and making other people lives hard. she's bloody irresponsible la babe. the other is just a plain hypocrite. i shan't say who, you know it yourself, right? i think the 'nominaters' had a made a big mistakes or maybe they're just blind, i dunno.

"coz some selfish insane moronic idiots couldn't admit defeat and put the blame others. tsk."

Racial Harmony Day's just two days away i can't wait! i'm looking forward to the concert and fun la! camwhoring la beb!

Then, Cross Country's just three days away i can wait! haha! dammit, i'll be doing the FA duty in jungle with 4 monkeys of sec one kids, lol. but wells, i'm looking forward to the event after that, huhu! (x

assignments are piling up. i still haven't completed my June holiday assignments (but the damn EL teacher can't be bothered, forget about it.) and wells, there's tons of compositions and comprehensions i'll need to finish before 8am later. i still haven't work my ass out on Food Sciences and there's plenty of amendments i'll need to make. i haven't even decide on the recipes, hurhur. i haven't finish reading Chapter 16 again of To Kill A Mockingbird and i'll need to submit the assignment most probably by this afternoon. and Gosh, there's Physics test later at 2.10pm yet i can hardly remember what chapter to study. hoho, very typical of me. (x

on top of it all, have i mentioned i'm being punished by the Vice Principal? haha, yeahhs and i've skipped two out of five days of the punishment. cucckoo.

i'm bored. i'm lazy. i'm tired. i'm lonely.
but i'm busy.

mom and dad are on some overseas business-housing trip and bro's in NS and he still has to go for the Brunei exhange and Rapture soon; and i'm left alone at home.

screw Blogger. it gives me hell for me to change the damn ugly layout. sorry i don't have time.

and screw boys. i'm seeing some hot hunks now, i'm melting. hahahaha! (i wish i'll have an arranged marriage when i'm 27, hahahaha!)

guess i'll need to call mom now and ask what's the best recipe for my the damn Food Sciences coursework, and MAYBE do my assignments yang tak akan terbuat. huhu!

night donkeys. (:

hanisyra.

'P' day.

2007-07-03T23:07:00.000+08:00

ratings to be advised. only ICE AGE allowed. huhu! xP

today was awesome and i shall call it the 'P' Day coz everything single thing happened was like all about P seriously.

Pornography, Porn star, Pervert, Puberty, Public, Pubic (don't get mixed up mind you!), Personal Problems, PMS and not forgetting 'PADDINGTON BRA'! haha! well you name it.

it all started when 'someone' shared HER porn videos with her lil clique of friends and everyone, almost everyone, knew about it and they got so excited and high they started talking all kind of Ps. a love novel borrowed by 'someone' from the library was passed around in the classroom and all kind of God-you-know-what happened. seriously that was what happened today until the very late afternoon.

it all started among this clique of girls Dirty Lil Secrets Partners in Crime where they couldn't concentrate on school works as they got so busied watching porns in class. goodness sake. nak buat depan depan cikgu plak tu. tsk.

and 'someone' was named Porn Star. you should know who. hahahahahahahaha!

well actually its a good thing, don't you think so?
coz you manage to gain some knowledge from it. huhu! xP

anyhoos, somebody and somebody are turning 15 this Thursday and Friday and their surprises are going to explode tomorrow. amek kau! kene kan mummy lagi la kan!

hanisyra.

mimi.

2007-06-20T00:54:00.000+08:00

okay. i think i need a break for now. i'm just too stressed up that i'm being such a fucked up person now.

i miss Mimi. i regret not calling him before he went off for camp. i regret not meeting up with him. it's been almost a week i didn't hear his voice. it's been almost three weeks i didn't see his face. i'm sorry i was just too busy with my life and work i've forgotten you. i got so carried away i neglected you. now i need you. please.

and i can feel the sharp pains piercing thru. God, why is it so difficult?

dammit, i miss you. where are youuuuuuuu?

hanisyra.

in a maze. a maize.

2007-06-20T00:41:00.001+08:00

sometimes when i think back, is it my fault that things aren't going the way it is supposed to be (or rather supposed to be). i feel its unfair for me to survive on my own, standing on my own feet, gasping for air. i don't know what's happening and going around in the world now. i feel so left out. i'm so far behind for me to catch up. i don't know any updates. i don't know what i am actually supposed to do but i always know i'm busy because some insane people make my life difficult and busy for me i couldn't take control of my own personal life.

i don't quite like the feeling actually. i don't feel much belonging. i don't feel much loved. i feel like i'm hanging in mid air. where are they? where are you?

i can't expect things to be going the way i want it to be all the time, right? i've been so provocative i didn't think of others. what's wrong with me? tell me.

i've been complaining alot lately. i find myself taking things for granted.

yes yes i know it's my fault. happy now?
but i'm still stucked in here. i don't know the way out. you knew it but you didn't help. you're just so selfish.

where's the love and affection now? too busy to catch up with your dreams? what about me? i have mine too but i tried my best to squeeze everything so i can have time to spend with you. but what about you? i've been sacrificing secretly lately. no one seems to care. you just can't be bothered. but i can't blame you. i should be taking all these risks on my own, carrying it on my shoulder as i walk through this journey.

i feel like i'm a different person now. i feel i'm in maze. more likely like a corn maize instead of maze. i'm looking for the way out, can't you idiots see that?

i feel sorry for myself and for everyone else too. if only...

is it too late for me to realize? i don't know. help me.

hanisyra.

prejudice. inequality. biased.

2007-06-19T23:31:00.001+08:00

i just need to blurt out something. i need to get this off my chest. excuse me for the languages.

you think its fcuking cool to fool me around? just because im from a different race from yall? just because my computer is down? you fcuking think im not important. then just fcukingly put me aside la. you dont have to stress me out on things and boss me around just because i have not done much work. i saw the emails. i read it. you fcuking didnt include me and how am i supposed to know whats going on and what im supposed to do when im not informed?? what, you fcuking expect me to hack into your account and check it for myself? dont use fcuking use your fcuking brain?

hello, im fcukingly helping you to ease your burden but why are you fcukingly make my life more difficult? cant you fcuking see my computer is down? cant you fcuking understand? its no point you're holding on to this position when you are neglecting your own fellow secretary and expect her to know everything when she knows no better than you? hello, fcuking use your brain la shitty selfish biatch! stop acting like a bloody old goodytwoshoes. you should just rot in hell. you dont deserve what you are supposed to deserve. i fcuking look down on you la bitch. such a fcuking rotten bitch you are.

and you, you fcuking think and hope i would do it but how am i supposed to do it if you dont send me the documents? dont you use your fcuking brain. aint no point going to a good school when you cant even use your fcuking brain. sucha lame excuse shit.

i fcuking hate you the most la. name yourself a person with a good high moral value but do you know you fcukingly has shown me your bad side to me? whats the point of you being in the top most position when you show attitude shits. you're not showing a good example and you expect ppl to show good example? youe xpect me to do something with myself but how? when you yourself didnt reflect back for own fcuking goodness self. i can feel the prejudice going on la kay. dont think im stupid just because i come from a stupid school. and dont think you're too smart just because you come from a smart school. so fcuking prejudice la sial. i know about the hatred you have in me. i know you sabo-ed me. i know you complained all those nonsense shits which are not true. i know you would be happy if i fail coz i know you would want me to right. dont fcuking act like some stupid drama mama la can. you are just fcukingly hated by me la. i just hope you rot in hell. see you in hell, fcuker assholic dumbass.

and stop complaining. get your priorities right. check your attitude first before checking others. its not cool okay. its stupid and its just bringing you down.

oh well, you think i care? oh fcuk off insane shits.

okay im done. once again, sorry for the languages but these monkeys are just getting onto my nerves. i just hope i will see them in hell later.

hanisyra.

Of Justice.

2007-06-06T14:15:00.000+08:00

i can feel the presence of unfairness.
i can feel the absence of love and affection as well.
you've planned it well.
you chose it to be this way, then let it be.
i have no say, no word to describe.
it's not that i'm deaf or mute but i've had enough.

i hope you're happy with the way it is right now.

hanisyra.

belong. -ing.

2007-06-01T16:27:00.000+08:00

life's changing, and so am i. i'm getting busier and busier every moment with nothing to do or be done. i have no idea. i seriously have no idea. it's a nuisance. that explains my long absence and silence.

much had happened in such a little time.
too many things to do, too little time.

on top of it all, i don't feel belong anymore. coz i don't belong to me. coz i belong to someone. (:

love,
hanisyra.

life's nothing. life's a bitch.

2007-05-23T15:09:00.000+08:00

i've got no idea where my life is heading to. it's like heading to nowhere. one moment i'd be laughing like hyena and another weeping like a helpless child. it's about time i should get a life.

GET A LIFE, DAMMIT!

where's the moralty and rep?

2007-05-10T10:02:00.000+08:00

i'm bored so i've been spending three solid hours on YouTube only to find a video that says 'Akon Humped a 14-year-old'. i was like, wth? i don't bloody give a damn coz i don't know if it's true (and even if i know i'd be the last person to know anyway) but that girl is a real slut for sure and i feel like looking up on her myspace, hah. and Akon's a hot artist. he should know what it takes to be one and not lose his reputation by humping girls on the stage during concerts. well there's too much of it going on anyway, marking the end of world's nearing. God bless you.

the sunshine that is shining brightly into the room isn't the typical one i've seen. i'm going to get migraines anytime soon.

and i'm about to done. left with one more paper and my life's over. dang.
i'm pretty sure i'm going to flunk my MidYear.

hanisyra.

grotesque tale of a Goodytwoshoes.

2007-05-09T15:09:00.000+08:00

i hate it whenever i come across people who always underestimate something that is beyond their understanding hence, making a judgement that is so not worth while from the truth. and later making a 'denial' by acting like a goodytwoshoes to fly away from his unjustified and prejudice predicament made earlier. it's a matter-of-factly of embracing himself in a good way so people would look upon him as a respectable man with a mind full of shits.

on another note of a random post, i totally screwed up Accounts this morning. replenished myself with joy and laughter half an hour later at Macs with an adventure to the old Shaw House (that has been vacant for 8 years and hasn't been demolished yet, wonder why?) located somewhere in the North. we're hoping to meet one but didn't get the chance as it didn't want to come out maybe because it's raining cats and dogs? hmm...

they're making out behind those folders. (x

*Dyla's gonna be mad at me for publishing this picture i guess, heh.

my attempt to make an Uno Stacko out of fries. i think it looked more likely like a campfire logs hahaha!

and now it's more likely like a Pisa.

we're pretty amazed at how smooth the surface of the bun was.

this doll looked quite scary. the eyes especially...

and not forgetting this one. it's like laughing at you y'know. scary can!

hanisyra.

self-indulgence and obsessed.

2007-05-08T18:41:00.000+08:00

math sucks. i didn't do most of the questions and i'm going to get an F9 for almost all my subjects that i take.

anyway i'm so obsessed with self-indulgence. whatever it is, i'm going to lead a free hassle life. no wait, i'm just destressing. okay no, i don't know. i don't know what's becoming of me. alright, i managed to spend some time myself going to town and shop right after math paper's finished. i'm a plain shopaholic who likes to waste money and gets obsessed with dresses, jeans, bags and shoes. i've promised myself i'm going to own at least 50 pairs of jeans by the time i'm 20. i don't care if anything matters but hello, i'm a girl and i have the liberty to own as much thing as i want and possible.

and i've bought two presents for Girlfriends. hint hint!

i'd like this book to be on my bookshelf in a week, i don't care.

i desperately need to read and know about Becky Bloomwood (no, Brandon i suppose?)'s life after she's gotten herself a BABY. wow!

i'm a big fan of Sophie Kinsella and i've read all her books. all THESE. really.

The Undomestic Goddess's the best.

daddy bought this from across the ocean this afternoon.

they taste like heaven. not. okay not really.

i've came to realise something; I MISS RIO. i hope he's doing well in Nice Shit, heh. (:

i wanna sleep. goodyyyyy nighteyy.

hanisyra.

marshmellow.

2007-05-07T16:23:00.000+08:00

someone turns 15 today.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOYCELENE! (:

i wrote bullshit for Literature of the novel To Kill A Mockingbird. i wrote about Dill being an orphan but still have moral values yet he's still an insensitive person, and Mrs Lafayette Henry Dubose (however her name is. i don't bother to open up the novel and check.) being a courageous woman as she chose to live the rest of her life in pain without morphine. I didn't manage to complete Physics. the paper was hard because i didn't study. but who cares? i'm going to flunk MYE anyway.

i'm having a terrible headache after eating this stupid marshmellows, darn. i'm off to sleep.

hanisyra.

priorities, right.

2007-05-05T23:44:00.000+08:00

set and get your priorities right before stepping into a world of regconition beyond your expectation and control. and stop pretending, Miss Old Goody-Two-Shoes. it's not cool, really.

anyway i'm going for the Unit Leader Programme camp and some sort-of tutorials. all i'm asking for is the unit to be a disciplined one with people having a good impression of us. and i couldn't care less about getting promoted to Senior Warrant Officer or the major seat held with good and high respectable position. all that matters is the respect you'd get; and not the position. (:

get what i mean?

hanisyra.

mugging isn't exactly like a mug.

2007-05-03T20:47:00.000+08:00

everywhere i go, i'd always see people sneezing, coughing and 'pulling up their breath so as to suck in their mucus in their nose'. it's approximately 80% to 90% of people around me are having flu, including myself. despite all the bitter yuckiness taste of medicines i've been swallowing down my oesophagus, the flu just won't go away and that makes me lazy to study.

speaking of study, i've been hanging around at the library very often nowadays right after the last lesson ends till 7pm. i just can't study at home seeing both parents peacefully sleeping and i'm what, studying? so not fair. study session with Afifah and two of her friends; Fatin and Fizah. guess i get their names right. i don't think it's a study session. time was wasted on flipping thru mags and i've got no appetite to study social studies. it's pretty boring ok!

shanifazyan without the s a z y a n. hah!

i think i have a healthy diet today and well, for the erm first time in this year i think, i ate 2 fruits. equivalent to SRDP. i've been eating alot of junk food lately. instant noodles for lunch and dinner for weeks. especially last Thursday when i had a movie date with Amy. i've got two GV complimentary tix which expired on April so well we just had to go. while waiting for the movie to start at 1625, we went to the supermarket in the mall and grab as much junk food as we can with a very big bottle of ice lemon tea. i ate and ate till my throat really hurt and my mouth was tired of munching, and that's when i thought i should stop eating. but again, yesterday i did it again with a big cup of popcorn as the dessert after eating a cup of instant noodles. can you imagine how much sodium and monosodium glutamate they contain? gosh and they made me feel real sick now.

i'm going to try the butter and cheese today wee!

this is the first apple that i ate that's sweet.
well maybe because the person eating it is sweet.
must be. heh! (:

math paper one and food sciences. math paper was easy but i know i'd fail. i screwed up on food sciences. time management was so not well and i lost about 15 marks just like that. i wasted time on the structured questions and didn't have time for the essay part of which each question carries 15marks. damndumbbloodydumbdumb.

and i'm going to screw up social studies paper and english paper two tomorrow. dadadadidididumdumdum.

hanisyra.

do you feel like a man when you push her around?

2007-05-02T00:49:00.000+08:00

it's been quite sometime since i last took a long nap in the afternoon as i always thought it's not good for your brain and also, a waste of time, because instead of sleeping, you could've done something more useful like studying especially with the fact that i'm so way behind in my studies and i need to do lots of catching ups regardless of all the emoshits and my ego.

i woke up only to realise that i've got tons of things to do and the papers are starting this Thursday and i still have not touch the textbooks yet. what's more to say the homeworks that are piling up which looks like an Uno Stacko. my room is totally in a mess with the bed not covered with a new sheet of bedlinen and bedsheet. i always regret of what i've done after numerous of warnings i warned myself not to repeat the mistake again, but again, i did it. i just couldn't handle time properly and wasted it on something not useful, like writing a Malay composition for a competition which due on May 15.

and now i'm in front of the computer since 8pm of which i desperately need to complete my Food Sciences notes using MS Words but wells, you know me sooo well, i wasted the whole bloody 5 hours on unnecessary things like chatting, blog-hopping and friendstering. i'm just so addicted.

now i shall make a decision; to continue doing the notes or go to bed? alright i guess it's time to go to bed because i still have a very long day tomorrow and i'm going to do studying in the library because if i study at home i can never study despite nobody is at home except me.
and now i really sound like Christopher in The Curious Incident of The Dog In The Night-Time.

time check: 12:49am May 2nd

hanisyra.

a thoughtless sense

2007-04-30T19:28:00.000+08:00

i just realised that there's numerous of Drafts in my Edit Posts which i didn't publish either because i didn't manage to finish the last few sentences or i think it's not right for me to publish due to certain reasons. oh wells, magnitude and langitude.

i'm realllllly down with fever and flu and the sharp pains on my chest (or maybe the heart). i couldn't wait for the last lesson, which was Physics at 3pm, to end. i was dreaming of my bed and pillows and mickey and elmo at home thru out the whole day at school. tomorrow's holiday, just great.

it's time for me to be thoughtful and stop being a persistent and conservative. things weren't working out well for me at first but well, it has turned out to be quite perfectly well now.

everytime the beeyatch is concerned, things would always turn out rusty and bad. maybe she practices Black magic coz she's holding grudges on me. all i could wish for is for her to rot in hell with a hot burning rusty metal rod stuck into her vagina and up her abdomen and thorax. how wonderful.

anyways, bought these funky cute and colourful bookmarks last few weeks. it's really adorable and affordable. there's a variety of them but i just love these.

i like the words it say! hurhur xP

anyone?? haha!

hanisyra.

i shall PRESENT you...

2007-04-30T19:19:00.000+08:00

thanks alot for the presents! wow. so many la haha! i didn't expect you would buy me sooo many things. i'm so touched! that's really really soooo sweet and nice of you guys. though i know i never contributed much to the clique, you have made me realize the importance and the true meaning and strength of friendship.

and i love the bikinis the most.
and not to mention, the bear, the Princess tumbler, the Princess puzzle, the DIY room-decor thingy, the Looney Tunes mug, the dresses, the necklaces, the bracelets and everything else more.
and also the BIRTHDAY BASH with expired flour and mineral water and rain!! haha!

thanks Amy, Mia, Atikah, Ain, Asha, Haziqah, Jannah and everybody else, and those wishes too!

P.S. sorry this entry is very, very late haha!

THANK YOU!!! MUCH MUCH APPRECIATED. (:

colourful.

it's been the tradition in our clique. don't be surprised if you're gonna be the next one. (:

those things have meanings behind it anyways. figure it out yourself. (:

the postcard specially posted to my address by my FORM TEACHER! how sweet! i really really adore her. (:

hanisyra.

wind and water.

2007-04-29T01:06:00.000+08:00

i've always wanted to be a strong person with a heart made of metal and rock. but i'm still a sensitive person who tends to get melancholy and rational most of the times. for the past few days, i'm feeling so touched and at the same time, hurt. it makes my face to crease whenever i see the world turning upside down and people being unappreciative, lack of tolenrance and taking things for granted. everytime i look at them i think they're blind and deaf and mute. they can speak and talk and hear all kinds of shits but no meanings. when i say this, i'm speaking of wind and water. everything happens for a reason, and the reason is you.

it tends to get melancholy at times anyway.

hanisyra.

miss understood.

2007-04-28T23:02:00.000+08:00

everyone has their own weaknesses and mine is, i always think everyone is a literature student when they can never knew anything better but to misunderstand over things you said that has meanings behind them.

and i've made a mistake. i hope you'd get what i'm trying to say and not misunderstand me.

hanisyra.

of love and affection.

2007-04-27T19:40:00.000+08:00

i know i've made mistakes but have you ever realised it that you too make mistakes? nobody is perfect. if you realise it properly, i'm the one who have been giving in to you, i've been patient to you but it seems like you're getting even more. i can see you prefer her alot more to me and i feel like i'm an invisible bliss. do you ever know how i feel? what more can you expect? i'm not a God or anything. you always know how to point other people's mistakes but have you ever pointed out yours? i feel sorry for you for you have been so self-centered lately and have you ever think about other people? how others feel? how your sister feel and everything?

hate me all you want but for one thing, i'm still treating you like a friend and i want you to stop misunderstand people like how you always misunderstood me.

and by the way, i've done my reflection. thank you.

hanisyra.

a random thought

2007-04-18T20:14:00.000+08:00

Gosh, the cardiologist was super bloody cute la, and i think i'm taller than him! Hah!
for the first time in my life, i did Ultrasound Scan.

nothing much about it actually but i just love KKH alot, compared to other hospitals in this island. my IC will turn out pretty pretty ugly. i hate the photo. irks, stoink face la k.

and i think Desmond Teo is Ms T.'s brother! keke! (:

damn. two POA tests tomorrow awaiting me! oh wow!

hanisyra.

2007-04-18T04:50:00.000+08:00

it's 4 in the morning now and i'm not sleeping. i woke up at 3.20am only to realise i've been sleeping since 6pm and i hadn't bathe yet. i need to shampoo my hair for today's photo taking. okay, practically lame.

i'm not going to school today though there's Accounts test. i lied to teacher yesterday. well it's a white lie to be precise actually. i'm going to the SIR in the morning, maybe around 8am when mom's returned from work, then to KKH to see the cardiologist in the afternoon. appointment at 2pm.

i have yet to delete old photos in Friendster, upload new ones, upload photos into myphotoalbum (coz they've been bugging me for photos), rip songs from discs (those very old songs like Michael Bolton, David Gates, Julio Iglesias, Diana Ross. i doubt you know them coz i don't even know them much haha!) and there's just sooo many things i need to do with the Internet and i don't have much time.

so here i am sitting in front of the LCD screen like a gundu. (=

oh man, i can smell sweet talcum and i can hear birds chirping and i can hear alarm clocks ringing. sometimes i just love the 'surrounding' in the morning. in the wee hours like this. it's nice. that's why i've been sleeping in class coz i didn't get enough sleep at night (from 12.3oam onwards) coz i would sleep right after i've reached home from school at 6pm. (and when i say sleep, i really mean deep sleep ok. bomb jatuh pun tak boleh bangun haha!)

i love waking up in the middle of the night. i'd feel fresh (but sometimes sleepy haha) and have the semangat to study. there's not much distraction compared to late afternoon and evening especially with dad's aroung. coz at night, i'd be the only being in house. nobody else except me. bro's gone for NS and both parents working. this gives me the oppurtunity to talk to my imaginary friends and play with them.

yeah i gotta admit it i was pretty scared at first but now, i think i'm used to it. no one's better than my imaginary friends. really.

okay mom and dad's gonna return anytime soon now, around 7am. i shall make coffee and tea and there's custard in the fridge! weeeee!

oh damn. migraine's coming back. bloody hell.

okay, now i need to go to mirror and practice smiling and man, what should i wear??? Gosh!!!

hanisyra.

birthday bash, badly bashed.

2007-04-12T23:12:00.000+08:00

it's my birthday today but i don't feel like it's my birthday. just like any other sucky days with people irritated me. i even forgot it was my birthday when i woke up from sleep this morning. not until few texted me wishing me Happy Birthday.

when i entered school today, grateful people were wishing me wishes and grateful people like Ain and Atikah gave me gifts first thing they saw me. oh wow, i'm touched ok! i mean, i didn't expect anything from anyone at all but well, they're very greatful.

after Chemistry class, Mrs A. asked me if i was okay. i didn't exactly know what to say coz i was feeling frustrated and uneasy with few people in my Chemistry class (they're bloody assholic and i wish they rot in hell. you read this? well i don't fcuking care if you wanna bitch about me or anything. this is my blog you goof!)

Physics test was totally suck. i'm gonna fail it. i hate Physics but i like the Physics teacher. (=

well the day was turned into a great one once after i've stepped out of the school gate. Mia and the gang had planned it well, i guess. they lied to me, damn, but in the end, i was being bashed by them. it was a super duper great one. (=

pity this kiddo. haha!

the back was the worst i tell you!

i could smell flour of myself.

the mess we created.

haha okay peace peace. don't fight-fight wahlau deh! (:

later, we boarded the bus and Asha, Haz and Jannah stayed away from Mia and me coz we're totally floured. practically, they're embarrassed haha. once we've alighted at the interchange, they shooed me home coz they wanna buy me gifts ahhaha tak tau malu. however, i took the other elevator and went to the mall and played hide-and-seek with them. i saw what they're doing but they didn't see me. well not until at Metro when.... hahaha! so i was walking around the mall with sticky flour covered most of my body and i smell of smelly flour because in the bus, Mia told me she had to creep to the kitchen at 2am and got the expired flour. damn.

and many saw me with a quizzical look especially when i was queue-ing up at the interchange. well just for a day, i wasn't me. hah!

a big birthday cake was waiting for me when i reached home. with floured hand, i took the strawberry and gobbled it down my oesophagus, and mom was like, "didn't you want to take a picture of it first?" knowing that i love to camwhore of everything.

and the rest of the evening was spent sleeping zZzz.

hanisyra.

2007-04-10T20:39:00.000+08:00

can like anybody get that for me? i dont mind if its tweety or slyvester or tasmania or bugs bunny. just as long as its not pooh haha.

i can feel the pinch of pain of forking out 50 bucks on a huge cute cuddly soft toy. but whoever gets that for me, i wish you live a life longer and hope God really bless you, and you will never be forgotten by me. chet, tak tau malu.

AND TO WHOM IT MAU CONCERN, I THINK I'VE FALLEN FOR YOU AGAIN. (:

hanisyra.

they're so adorable i can't resist

2007-04-09T22:46:00.000+08:00

i shall not let the bygones eat my birthday-feast mood through out this week. so today was spent camwhoring acting like some bloody idiotic cute lil innocent kids. im sorry but the phone just didnt want to slip off from my grip, and always want the camera lenses facing us haha.

i hate it whenever teachers gone missing. its bloody irritating la ok and excuse me, exams are just around the corner and you guys are absenting yourselves yet you still expect us to get distinctions. damn, how irresponsible.

so this was what we did when the subsitute teacher was dozing off in class...

playing hide-and-seek with the phone!

ok, i think this is a lil dramatic haha!

ok fine fine. i admit it la ok. I HAVE SUPER MESSY-MESSY HAIR. happy now?

literature test was cancelled due to SYF stuff. damn, they could have told us earlier so i would be able to leave school earlier and head to city hall and bugis to get new pairs of flip-flops and the roxy white straw bag.

however, coincidentally, Tiq texted me and we met at Burger King again. as per normal. (it's getting pretty bored la ok. can we like, go some other places? errrr...)

since i was the first one to arrive at the mall, while waiting for Tiq to travel to woodlands from toa payoh, i went to check out the dolls at Metro and Kiddy Palace.

the collection of Fairytopia. i love!

this was the doll that Mia had promised to buy for me as Valentines gift, but she didnt. hoho!

and i saw this big doll. i don't think i want this to be in my bedroom. else, i wont sleep in my house anymore.

this is the doll that i love most. you press got-the-something-there and the wings which contain glitter would move. ok, im pretty bad at explaining and describing. macam style gitu hehe..

collection of 12Dancing Princess. i love the Prince one which comes in a set with its clothes and shoes at an affordable price!

and i love these kids. they're soooo adorable.

i've been eyeing on this Tinkerbell duffel bag which i think i can store lotsa stuff inside including 3 shoebags! i love the black one but its out of stock. damn. macam nak balik kampung gitu ehk haha..

Tiq acting cute hahahaha!

Bugs Bunny looked like it had been strangled by the muka-bodoh-la-sey kid. and THIS IS THE ONE THAT IVE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD ON MY BIRTHDAY! chet, tak tau malu hahaha..

i doubt Bugs and Sly love her. urghh!

but i think they love her better. just look at Bugs' face.

and something happened while we were camwhoring in the store which made us leaving the store, laughing and rolling on the floor. (if im not wrong, the sales assistant shoo-ed us out hahhahaa!)

ok not that bad la k. we leave on our own will actually after feeling guilty after ditimbus oleh the huge looney tunes and si-buncit Pooh nye binatang nye bears.

okay, thats all folks!

xoxo,
hanisyra.

born and bred of the era and trends

2007-04-08T22:25:00.000+08:00

some people are just so inconsiderate, so uncivilised and so irresponsible. they take things for granted in their lives. they've got no sense of gratitude and urgency. so unappreciative. hmpff!

you think it's cool to lie around and always have a company to accompany you wherever you go, eh? you think it's cool to brag around about your oh-so-perfect life so people will somehow look up on you, eh?

i suggest it's best if you go up to the mirror and look yourself into it.

i'm pretty appalled to see you have changed overnight. you're no longer like the old person whom i used to know. you got so manipulated by the era and trends that you forgot who you were. i could see the hurt in the people's eyes. they're the ones who had brought you up to be a good humble person but are disappointed to see the changes in you. you're no longer a person who's appreciative and humble and polite. what's up with raising-of-voice and physical-acts, huh? you're not patient enough to control your temper. i feel soooo sorry for your upcoming generations. i hope you'd change.

all the best.
so much of a good favourite person on earth.

xoxo,
hanisyra.

of rain and laughter

2007-04-07T22:03:00.000+08:00

it's the 55th y'all!!!

despite the hot shimmering and heavy downpour...

with the cute Links of which mostly are Primary 3.

Red Team rocks la you guys!!! =P

(especially with that the only cute girl at the front row, heh!)

with the ma'ams and sirs.

how would you feel when someone who is older than you call you MA'AM? it feels honoured right? hahahaha! Chi Shan... Chi Shan...

and it feels honoured to be a cheerleader ok!

and not to forget the cute-cute teeny-weeny Links! (:

and of course, not forgetting the cute lil semangat kentalan cheerleader. (:

till we meet again... ):

xoxo,

hanisyra.

life's a beach

2007-04-06T21:43:00.000+08:00

Dear Future-Husband,
I would like to have a house by the beach, please. Thank you. (:

people are just so busy hunting for money and fulfilling their desires till that they don't realise that these aren't the things thet are supposed to go after- it's definitely love and true life experiences by spending and wasting time with beings chasing cars; not by paperworks or working behind the desk.

it's hard to get the family gathering or going out together- be it an occasion or not. so mom's birthday was spent eating dinner at East Coast and strolling by the beach and lagoon.

the atmosphere was reviving and it suddenly evoked me of sec 3 camp @ Changi which also evoked me of the cute-hot-sexy Rio. oooooh!

oh i just so love looking at the aeroplanes just above my head. that was when i started to miss Rio cause i miss the aeroplanes a little too much.

seeing the stars among the dark blue sky, sitting on a rock by the beach, listening to the whistling wind and the tides..... oh, so wow!

and i miss playing with the sand, building sandcastles and suntanning at the beach. i just miss spending and hanging out at the beach la!

oh wells, life's a beach.

xoxo,
hanisyra.

a mentally competent psychotic

2007-04-02T05:47:00.000+08:00

it was a big mistake. i shouldn't have told you anything that concerns much with my feelings.

now, you're happy. i can see it from your eyes. you're one capable bitch who manage to do anything to content yourself and let others down.

and when i say ANYTHING, it means anything. you're so capable of giving away your pride and virginity without much consideration that it would somehow affect your life in the future only because you wanted to have a perfect revenge so as to fulfil your desires.

so as long as your history is lighten up.

you're very much of a desperate friend. no, not friend. perhaps enemy.

you might not be eating your meals but you're definitely eating up other people's lives and their hearts. ALIVE.

i've put so much trust in you but you took advantages. i'm sorry but i can't spare anymore for you. not until you prostrate to me and kiss my smelly feet.

but i promise i would never forgive you.

so rot in hell, bitch.

xoxo,
hanisyra.

panorama of a banausic child

2007-04-01T23:16:00.000+08:00

damn. it's only four more days away to your birthday and i've made you cried, i guess.

i know, i'm totally a bloody idiotic jerk. everyone says that. even your life partner.

i shouldn't have brought up that issue. now it looks like i've made a big fuss over it when it was actually, somehow looks like you're getting amnesia anytime soon.

it was totally my fault, i suppose. now, i've realised i can never compare my life with anybody else's. it's different. totally.

for now and for ever, i shall always remind myself to think before i speak and never view something from only a perspective, and live the way that i am somewhat fated to live.

"you'll never really understand a person... not until you climb into his skin and walk around in it."

so long good night.

xoxo,
hanisyra.